


Momentum

by Totally_Legit



Category: GOT7
Genre: 2Jae, AU, Awkward lies, College, Crushes, Firsts, Light Angst, M/M, Schoolboy love, Shameless Smut, Smut, Switching, Youngjae is timid but he'll get there, most basic romantic b-movie plot, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-05-14 08:48:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 27,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19269820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Totally_Legit/pseuds/Totally_Legit
Summary: Youngjae wants to take singing lessons.Lucky for him, Yugyeom has a guy for that.Youngjae thinks he might be falling in love with his singing teacher.But his teacher might already be Yugyeom's guy.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ahgasophie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ahgasophie/gifts).



> I started writing this incredibly recent. And since I've made so much progress so quickly I decided to post it now and maybe I can teach myself to stop taking theese majorly long breaks in between and writing other stuff. Like, you know, this is one of the 'other stuff' and my main fic, again, lies untouched for the time being. Screw this.  
> I wrote a bit from the first part and a bit of the second part and a bit of the third part and then at some point of course I had to thread it together.  
> So I’m not sure if there are continuation errors? Days like these I wish I had a beta reader. If it’s inconsistent, I’m sorry.
> 
> Also the one part, which is the… porn. (Not gonna say where it happens or you won’t read the rest :P) Yeah, I wrote that extra, like with no story attached, just for the smut and then I will fit this in here because it needs a home. Mugjt feel out of place later but we'll see.
> 
> Also This is a prompt. I usually write those in 3k words, I say that time and time again, but now this happened by accident and it deserves their own story, since I can't post it as a One-Shot. However, I’ll not add the prompt text on the first chapter for obvious spoilers. So, just one person will know what’s going on right away, unless she forgot she wrote it.
> 
> Now have FUN!

„Ugh, I wish I could do that!“ Youngjae complains and falls exhaustedly to the hardwood floor. He just plops down, landing flat on his stomach limbs spread out. The cool of the ground feels soothingly comfortable against his heated skin. Yugyeom laughs. “More practice, Hyung.” He cheers as he bounces about the room. Youngjae is incredibly envious about how easy it looks when he does it. “Don’t lie to him, Gyeom-ah.” Bam Bam chastises from the ratty sofa stuffed against the opposite wall. His slender legs casually hang over the armrests in the most diva of fashions that anyone could come up with. Youngjae pouts. “Yugyeom is a natural. There’s only so much you can achieve with practice. The rest is talent. Either you have it or you don’t.” Bam Bam elaborates intellectually.

It is probably true. The professional and attractive way that Yugyeom can move just comes to him naturally. Something Youngjae certainly does not have. He sighs. When Yugyeom first suggested to him to join them for their dance practices, Youngjae mostly agreed because he wanted to lose some weight. He’d never thought it would be so much fun and even more so he didn’t expect himself to be so ambitious about becoming better at it. To his utter horror he found himself wanting to improve further and further, which at first was of course pretty cool, but when he realized that no way in hell he would ever be able to level with Yugyeom or even Bam Bam it was incredibly frustrating.

So he found himself moping more often than not about all the things he couldn’t do instead of focusing on whatever he achieved. Yugyeom jumps towards him and stops so abruptly that he slides a few steps along the shiny floor, stumbles and crashes down on top of him. Youngjae cries out in pain and Bam Bam laughs his ass off from his comfy seat. “Whoops, sorry!” Yugyeom giggles and rolls off him, just to fling his arm over his shoulders. “You’re good, Hyung.” He affirms with his childlike seriousness. “There are things that people are better at or even not. I happen to have a talent for dancing, so what? There’s other things you can do!”

Youngjae sulks. “Like what?” He asks and rolls around under Yugyeom’s grasp onto his back. Yugyeom is taller, thinner, the better dancer, in a much better shape and even more handsome with his stupidly bright complexion and wide shoulders. The question has Yugyeom think for long enough that Youngjae wails. “Like sing.” Bam Bam, disinterested but reliable suggests from across the room. Yugyeom’s face lights up. “That’s true!” he yells. “I had singing lessons for a year and I am still nowhere near as good as you, Hyung.”

Youngjae scrunches his nose. Sing? “I don’t think I’m all that good at it.” He gives back, but sits up looking down at his friend questioningly. “No seriously!” Yugyeom follows him into a sitting position. “I mean I practiced all the basics and I can hold a tune, but you have such a naturally nice singing voice! You’re  _talented_ .” Youngjae’s stomach tickles. He never thought he was talented at anything at all and he wonders if they’re just saying it to cheer him up.

“All you would need to do is to improve your technique! You know, all the practical stuff that can be taught. The foundation is all there. I give it a month and you can make people fall for you just by opening your mouth.”

“Hey, that’s my talent already.” Bam Bam chastises from the side. “You can’t have that. I make girls fall for me all the time by opening my mouth. And putting it in the right place.” Yugyeom chokes as he goes bright right. Youngjae pulls his smelly sneaker off his right foot and throws it in Bam Bam’s face.

“I don’t think I have the budget for singing lessons.” He directs at Tomato-Yugyeom again, feeling deflated. “I can’t lose my piano-teacher in order to afford them either.” Yugyeom pats his shoulder. “Don’t worry, Hyung. I know a guy.”

  


Youngjae is nervous when he steps into the recording studio that Thursday afternoon. It’s on-campus so it isn’t locked. The light is gloomy and the furnishings and equipment look thrown together and outdated, but it has a comfortable feel to it. Homey in a way. “Hello?” he asks carefully, but receives no response. He checks his phone again only to find that he is absolutely on time. Not that he has an appointment or anything, but Yugyeom told him at what times he’d be able to find him here.

Yugyeom’s “guy” is a senior who agreed to give Youngjae free of charge lessons for a few weeks to see if it fits with him. (Yugyeom also insisted for him to not ask  _why_ his guy did that.) Then they could talk about how they would go on. And if Youngjae decided it was worth it and wanted to keep learning, it wouldn’t be as expensive as a professional teacher. He is grateful, but he’s nervous, too because he never actually met that guy which is quite strange as he thought he knew all of Yugyeom’s friends.

He sets his bag down and decides to settle on the small sofa while he waits. He feels intrusive, but that was apparently Yugyeom’s plan because instead of giving him his friend’s phone number so they could arrange a meeting he insisted that Youngjae took the initiative and found the guy himself. He’d been angry, but his complaints had been fruitless. It’s one of Yugyeom’s life goals to build up Youngjae’s confidence, who, admittedly is quite prone to hide behind his younger friend’s back. He can’t help it. Bam Bam’s self-esteem is way above average and Youngjae is an incredibly shy person, especially in the company of people he thinks are superior to him, which are, usually, all the people. He’s aware of it, sure, but it’s still hard on him.

He wonders if it is too creepy to sit alone in this dimly lit room where he has no business to be and wait for someone that doesn’t even know about it. He should leave and come back another time. He just rose to his feet and grabbed his backpack when the door creaks open and someone walks inside, eyes trained on his phone. It startles him and he might’ve gasped. Which in return startles the other one who makes a surprised sound and drops his phone. It clatters to the ground in a dull thud that startles Youngjae once more and he flinches. “Sorry.” He breathes out and feels his face warm up.

The door falls close behind the guy when he hastily picks up his dropped phone and straightens back up. His eyes are wide in surprise, half-hidden behind long, dark bangs, sitting right above a pair of sharp cheekbones and a straight nose in the middle of an even, handsome face. Youngjae feels utterly intimidated being an intruder and scaring him and getting scared in the process.

And then the guy is also really, really handsome. He looks very skinny, but it might just be his choice of oversized clothing, a wide T-Shirt that falls loosely from his broad shoulders and low hanging, old sweatpants. Those shoulders though, may even be broader than Yugyeom’s. Youngjae is instantly jealous. “Hi.” The guy says, entirely neutral. Youngjae straightens a little. “Uhm… hi.” He answers and feels stupid about it. “Sorry.” He adds hastily. The guy nods. “Yeah, you said that.” Youngjae’s face warms a little more. “I am Youngjae.” He explains, though it probably doesn’t explain much. “I’m sorry for… you know.” He gestures. The guy nods wordlessly. Youngjae takes a deep breath. “I am Yugyeom’s friend.”

If he hoped that that would be enough to explain the situation, he was wrong. He gets looked at questioningly and then there’s something else in the guy’s eyes that he can’t comprehend. “I, uhm…” Youngjae mildly panics inside, “Are you Yugyeom’s friend?” He desperately asks. “Yugyeomie?” The guy repeats endearingly. “Yeah, I know him… What about it?” Nervously Youngjae scrapes his toe over the floor. “Ehrm… he told you about me, right? That I was going to come by? Because of the singing lessons… That’s me. Right?” Now that was an understandable sentence, right?

The guy’s head slightly tilts. “You want to take singing lessons?” He questions quite curiously and Youngjae curses Yugyeom in his head. He could have at least explained the situation, couldn’t he? So he nods. “Yeah, he… uhm, he said you would… you know… Give me some lessons as a… friend.” His cheeks are burning like fire. “As a friend.” The guy repeats. “Probably means free.” Youngjae’s shoulders sag. “Oh god, please don’t tell me he didn’t even ask you?! I mean he said that to me, I assumed it was clear with you, you know?” He babbles, but he can’t help it. It’s too embarrassing. He throws his backpack over his shoulder. “I am sorry for wasting your time.” He mumbles and attempts to walk past him.

“Wait a sec.” the guy says with an obvious chuckle in his voice. “So, Yugyeom offered you a free trial of… my teaching method for vocal students?” Youngjae stops, but his attempt to walk out brought them rather close together, less than a meter between their faces and he realizes that the other one is even a tad taller. He nods timidly. “When.” The guy grins and something in Youngjae’s chest takes a leap, like a hiccup when he watches the lips twist upwards, revealing a row of straight white teeth and his eyes crease charmingly. “Yugyeom said that, then it’s alright with me.” Youngjae hesitates. “Are you sure?” He breathes quietly and receives a nod and an even bigger smile. Then the guy reaches his arm out. “I’m Jinyoung.”

Youngjae shakes his hand. “Cool.” He mumbles, ears burning still or again, “Thank you very much.” Not only does Jinyoung agree to the free teaching, he even insists to start right away. So Youngjae sets his bag down once more. He actually likes singing, sure, but doing it in front of a stranger, one who is given the task of evaluating him especially, is very scary. Luckily, Jinyoung is a patient instructor. He doesn’t laugh, which Youngjae finds quite important and he doesn’t get loud either. He offers nice words and gentle encouragement until Youngjae finally dares to sing a few line of a song he likes. It comes out crooked and rough and he immediately stops, pressing a hand against his throat, ducking his head and apologizing.

The ‘lesson’ has been going on for merely twenty or thirty minutes when the door gets tossed open. Youngjae, in the midst of his third attempt of showing his supposed skill silences abruptly when a person walks into the room, just like Jinyoung had, with his gaze fixed on his phone, jet black hair, wide ears and big doe eyes and the polar opposite in terms of clothing with a neat button down shirt and cotton pants. While Youngjae is startled, he doesn’t feel as entirely aghast as he did before when Jinyoung entered.

“Hey, man.” Jinyoung greets aloud and the guy looks up. “Oh.” He makes as he pockets his phone. “Hi.” He nods at Youngjae, who does the same and repeats a low “Hi.” It’s quiet for a moment while his eyes flicker between them. “Am I interrupting something?” He finally asks. Luckily, Youngjae doesn’t have to answer, because Jinyoung does that for him. “This is Youngjae.” He explains. The other’s brows furrow and he opens his mouth, but Jinyoung keeps going. “You know, Yugyeom’s friend Youngjae? He wants to take singing lessons and, well, since it was _Yugyeom_ who promised them, _I_ am very happy to provide.” Youngjae doesn’t like the way he put emphasis on his friends name and the cheerful, loud tone in which he delivers his explanation, but he opts to stay quiet.

The new guy seems to be thinking for a bit, eyes narrowing further and further until Jinyoung rushes to stand up from his seat and walk over to him, pulling at his elbow and directing him into a corner, beginning a hasty, whispered conversation. “Look, there’s something I have to…” Everything after that is too quiet for him to understand. Jinyoung quickly speaks into his friend’s ear who only occasionally mouths something back. Even though Youngjae can’t follow the conversation he can see the metaphorical light bulb turn on above the guy’s head.

Finally his face twists into a wicked smirk and he nods. “Okay, then.” He eventually says. “Well, since you’re doing it for  _Yugyeom_ , (again that tone) I hope that you are extra nice to our new friend.” He speaks to Jinyoung obviously, but keeps looking at Youngjae, who shifts a little uncomfortably. “So that Youngjae can tell his friend what a great teacher you are. And how selfless you offer your time. Jinyoung-ah.” Jinyoung’s face twitches with something akin to anger. “Fuck you.” He mutters. The guy raises a thick brow. “Excuse me?” He scolds. Jinyoung scowls. “I’m sorry. I meant ‘Fuck you,  _Hyung_ ’.” The other laughs and pats his shoulder, before he turns around. “We have to finish that thing today, so, 20 minutes?” Jinyoung nods. “Yeah, okay.” Then the guy leaves.

Jinyoung returns to his seat next to Youngjae and asks “Where were we?” As if nothing happened. Youngjae stares at him. Jinyoung looks up and their eyes meet. He has charming eyes, narrow and dark and even though he’s overall very kind, Youngjae can imagine that if he pierces someone with a fierce gaze it could give a whole different vibe. There are two cute little moles right above his eye, like the holes of an old brow piercing. “What?” He asks. Youngjae shrugs. “That was…” “Ahh, I’m sorry about him.” Jinyoung makes a dismissive hand gesture. “Don’t worry about him, he’s an idiot.” Youngjae’s brows furrow. “He’s your friend.” Jinyoung weighs his head. “Yeah, of course.” He answers. “I mean, we’re best friends, but… you know how that is. With a lot of teasing and constantly insulting each other and stuff.”

Youngjae crosses his arms and leans back against the sofa. He doesn’t want to be ungrateful. He  _does_ receive free lessons and Jinyoung is friendly and patient on top of it, but he can’t help that he feels uncomfortable now. “What?” Jinyoung asks again, not annoyed, but honest. Youngjae shifts. “I don’t… like that.” He admits, witnessing how the other’s face morph into incomprehension. “What?” He repeats. “Whispering about me while I’m in the room.” Youngjae explains slowly, a lump in his stomach. “Talking like there’s a big joke and I’m not in on it.” Jinyoung’s eyes grow wide. “No!” He almost-yells. “No, really, no. Sorry, I mean, I’m sorry that… No that’s not true.” He stammers and doubles over in his attempt to speak even quicker.

He takes a few breaths and calms down. “I wasn’t… talking about you. I mean… I mean I can’t tell you, because… Because of  _his_ privacy. It was more about… uhm, something else. It’s complicated, but… It wasn’t… We’re not laughing about you.” Youngjae still sulks. So what if he’s sensitive? It’s not like he can just turn it off. They sit quiet for a while, lesson forgotten.

“So uhm… That killed the mood, huh?” Jinyoung finally concludes. “Mood?” Youngjae mutters, but it may have been too quiet for him to hear. Jinyoung claps his hands and rises to his feet. “Let’s leave it at that for today, shall, we?” He cheerfully suggests. “You have a nice voice Youngjae, I look forward to working with you.” Youngjae’s spirit lifts greatly with compliments. “How about instead we set an actual date and time and I’ll promise to make sure that… Jaebum.. doesn’t interrupt us.” He has to think for a moment before he realizes that Jaebum must be the name of his devilish friend. So he nods and mumbles “Sure.”

They also exchange numbers in case ‘Something needs to be rescheduled’. Jinyoung shows more of his playful, boyish grins so that Youngjae can’t help the smile creeping on his own face. They set a date and time and when Youngjae leaves the building and starts making his way home he feels strangely elevated.

  


“So, how did it go?” Yugyeom asks excitedly and scoots closer, tugging on his arm. Youngjae shrugs. “It was good.” “Oh, come on, Hyung.” Yugyeom complains. “ _It was good_. That doesn’t mean anything. How did you like Jinyoung-Hyung? Was he nice to you? Is he a good teacher?” Youngjae frowns over his nosy behavior. Something is definitely off. “First of all.” He starts and raises his voice, because he hasn’t scolded Yugyeom yet and if he insists to hear everything… “Fuck you for not even asking him if he’d do it.” Yugyeom’s eyes grow wide. “I did!!” He insists. “What do you mean, of course I did!” Youngjae doesn’t believe him. “Yeah right.” He mutters. “It seemed very much like he had no idea. But agreed anyways.” Yugyeom pulls a face. “Ugh, yeah that sounds like Jinyoung. He always tries to come off as super selfless. Idiot.”

Youngjae musters him curiously. “What is that with you and him?” He asks suspiciously, but Yugyeom shrugs it off. “So, he’ll teach you?” Youngjae nods. “We kind of started and he had me sing some to see what I can do. But we got interrupted by his weird friend and then quit and made an appointment. Happy?" "Weird friend?” Yugyeom wants to know. Youngjae shrugs. “Jaebum I think.” Yugyeom’s head tilts. “Why is he weird? He’s cool.” Youngjae shrugs again. “I don’t know, I think he was weird.” Yugyeoms brushes it off. “But Jinyoung-Hyung was nice?” To which Youngjae finally nods. “Yes, Yugyeom. He was very nice to me.” He watches him beam brightly. “Great.”

Something is definitely suspicious.

  


Jinyoung claps his hands together loud enough to startle Youngjae who was just about to sit down. “Alright.” He says cheerfully. “You have never had any vocal lessons at all, right?” Youngjae shakes his head. “Okay.” Jinyoung nods eagerly. “Then we’ll start with some basic warm-ups. Don’t worry, Youngjae-ah. You’ll be a pro in no time.” Youngjae likes the way he says his name. It makes his scalp tingle and he casts his eyes down, blinded by the boyish grin.

His lack of confidence makes even the warm-up hard on him. He’s easily embarrassed and he feels stupid doing it. But Jinyoung patiently repeats the awkward sounds he makes so often and so obnoxiously loud and stupid that Youngjae can’t help but laugh and it does definitely loosen the tight knots in his chest until he dares to let his voice go. “Thank you, Jinyoung-ssi.” He giggles afterwards, witnessing something flash in the other’s eyes that he can’t decipher. “Uhm, you can ‘Hyung’ me, Youngjae.” He answers quickly to which Youngjae nods an okay. “Thank you, Hyung.” He repeats and he likes it a lot.

Jinyoung  _is_ a good teacher. He takes a lot of time for him, though admittedly he occasionally drifts off into long monologues about techniques and styles and while it is a lot to absorb, Youngjae kind of appreciates it. He stays for almost two hours before he jumps up in shock, hastily excusing himself as he runs off to work.

He only does about two or three shifts at the restaurant per week, twenty hours max. Between university and studying and piano lessons and lately the dance practices, he doesn’t really have time for more. Now his free time has shrunk even more, he realizes when he apologizes to the sweet motherly lady who owns the small place for being late. She’s an old friend of his mum, which is how he got this job and he’s certain (though she refuses to confirm it) that she promised his parents she’d keep an eye on their little baby. You’d think that when your parents already had to let two children go before the third would be easier, but no. Because Youngjae is the baby.

The little cash he makes waiting tables and peeling potatoes would not pay even his rent. It’s more like some extra pocket money. Youngjae is lucky enough that his parents can support him, though he’s aware that his sibling probably chime in quite a bit. Well, he  _is_ the baby. He knows that Bam Bam struggles more, so Youngjae handed him the majority of the hours to be done at the restaurant which he took gratefully. And he was only mildly jealous about how the revenue skyrocketed since Bam Bam started charming the middle-aged customers with his cute tilted accent and adorable politeness. He deserves it.

Youngjae falls into his sheets dead tired after carrying full plates and hot bowls when he finally makes it home. Only then he realizes that he didn’t set a new appointment with Jinyoung. He rolls around and checks his phone. It’s after midnight, way too late to text now, right? Except he finds that he has a notification and when he checks it, he sees a message from non-other than the person he’s just been thinking about. Since he’s alone he ignores how the bubbly feel in his chest makes him smile as he opens it.

“Hey, you ran off without telling me when’s our next date.” Says it there and Youngjae covers his mouth with his blanket before he squeaks. The walls here are thinner than paper and he doesn’t want Yugyeom to hear him be embarrassing. _Date_. The message is a few hours old, but he still answers. “Just got off work, sorry. How about Friday?” Then he falls asleep and waked up the next morning finding a simple little “Perfect.” on his phone.

  


Lessons with Jinyoung are great, but probably not as effective as they could be. The more Youngjae loses his dread, the more fun he has spending time with Jinyoung. And that’s what they kind of do. They spend time. Yes, Jinyoung actually teaches him a lot of things. He gives solid, constructive criticism and compliments him on every little thing he does right. Youngjae’s chest swells with every little praise and not only does he become more confident in singing, he also becomes more and more comfortable with Jinyoung on a personal level. The little hiccup they had the first time they met, when Youngjae felt laughed at is long forgotten. And he actually hasn’t met Jaebum again since then, Jinyoung always making perfectly sure that it’s just them.

However, they also connect, like really, on a personal level. They divert from time to time. Sometimes because Youngjae’s throat is sore or he’s tired of singing and sometimes just because they stumble upon a topic that inspires either of them. Then they talk, they lounge around and at some point they even have dinner together. Sure, it’s just convenience store food on dirty plastic chairs, but it’s still nice.

While Youngjae first dreaded the lack of spare time he was going to have left and made the plan to not set lessons with Jinyoung all too often (maybe once a week, he thought) so he’d still have time for himself, he quickly dismissed of that. He found himself actually clearing his schedule to set a singing lesson, missing a dance practice with Yugyeom here or stuffing an assignment into a night shift there. They still call it ‘lessons’ though it feels more like hanging out together, even though Jinyoung rightfully insists that they work at least a bit each and every time.

But then they listen to music together or Jinyoung, who’s not just a good singer, but also a talented producer, shows him a few snippets of songs he’s written. Youngjae thinks he’s really, perfectly, cool. Even despite the weird oversized T-Shirts and ratty, loose sweatpants he constantly sports. Or the first time Youngjae sees him wearing one of those ridiculous bucket hats that has him break out into hysterical laughter and he would almost feel sorry for laughing at him, but Jinyoung grins sheepishly and shows his pretty white teeth and refuses to take the stupid hat off for the rest of the day. Unflattering outfits aside, Youngjae just knows that with his wide shoulders and charming eyes, if he was dressed properly, he would look absolutely stunning.

Youngjae knows what’s happening, but he pushes it aside.

  


Yugyeom however, turns out to be a problem. He too, though he doesn’t  _know_ per se, probably has a hunch. And he keeps pestering Youngjae about everything. He wants to know what he and Jinyoung talk about, how much he learns and most importantly, if Jinyoung ever mentions him. Youngjae frowns and denies, curiously watching Yugyeom’s face twist in anger. Each and every time he witnesses Youngjae getting ready to go meet Jinyoung, he asks a spiteful “ _Again?!_ ” and insists to know why the hell they have to meet that often. He even goes as far as noticing that Youngjae barely improved his singing considering how many  _lessons_ he has, in such a sarcastic tone that it leaves him speechless.

About two months after Youngjae’s first lesson, it escalates.

Youngjae kind of wants to bring it up that night with Jinyoung, but he hesitates and eventually chickens out. If Yugyeom’s fury stems from where he thinks it does, he’s not sure he even really wants to know. So he stays quiet. Jinyoung is his usual sweet, attentive self and once he realizes that Youngjae doesn’t concentrate, he ends his teaching and offers a trip to the convenience store instead. They stuff their bags with snacks and beer and Jinyoung pays and they end back up on the worn-out sofa.

“You know, Youngjae.” Jinyoung says, taking a sip from his can. “You’re already really good.” Youngjae punches him in the shoulder to hide his embarrassment. “Ouch. I mean it though. Soon I won’t be able to teach you anymore.” It has Youngjae quiet. He shifts uncomfortably. The lessons Jinyoung gave him were supposed to be more something like a free trial. He shouldn’t be mooching off of him forever, he does remember that. But Jinyoung never brought it up and honestly, for quite some time, for Youngjae, it has barely been about the lessons anymore and much more about… well… Jinyoung.

He wonders if Jinyoung will bring it up or if he will have to do it. He eyes him from the side. He looks relaxed and comfortable, lips slightly tilted up and dark hair so messy, Youngjae has the urge to reach his hand out and order it, smooth it down and feel whether it is as soft as it looks. He’s not sure he has enough confidence to suggest they can still meet even if Jinyoung isn’t teaching him anymore. He would be devastated if they didn’t. Maybe the key reason why he tries to draw out the free lessons, not for monetary reasons, really.

“You know what you need much more than technical advice is confidence.” Jinyoung speaks while Youngjae almost forgot what they were talking about. He shrugs. He knows he lacks there. “You shouldn’t have to be afraid to sing in front of people.” Youngjae pouts. “It’s not like that’s conscious decision.” He lets Jinyoung know, who smiles reassuringly. “I know.” He answers softly, “That’s why I say we need to build it.” Youngjae pulls a face at him. He’s had enough of that from Yugyeom. Can’t people let him be? Jinyoung sits up and slings an arm around him. Doing that he scoots a whole lot closer and Youngjae’s mind almost blanks. He’s normal fine with physical closeness, he hugs all of his friends, but with Jinyoung, they hadn’t quite been there yet. The most they usually share are pats on the back or nudges to the shoulder.

He wonders if he blushes visibly, because he starts feeling incredibly warm as Jinyoung presses into his side. He has mastered the art of suppressing things he doesn’t like and of deceiving himself, but right now it’s getting increasingly harder. He knows. He knows what’s happening. “Nothing bad.” Jinyoung casually chatters, while Youngjae has absolutely no idea what he’s talking about. “How about we go to Karaoke?” Youngjae doesn’t answer. “Hmh?” Jinyoung makes and keeps talking when he receives no response. “Just with a few friends? So you can learn to relax and let loose. How about?”

Youngjae doesn’t want to answer, mostly because he sees no point in it. What does it matter? He turns his head, realizing too late how that’s a mistake. Jinyoung’s face is so close. Their eyes meet and Youngjae is certain he feels a jolt of electricity. Physically. And somehow he knows he has deceived himself for too long already. It is no longer happening. It’s too late, it has long happened by now and he’s up to his ears in disaster.

Jinyoung’s lips move, but there are no sounds. He has no idea whether he doesn’t actually speak, or he simply can’t hear it. His ears are buzzing, his fingers feels numb. While he slowly, incredibly so, turns his upper body in Jinyoung’s direction, Youngjae feels not only his skin tingle all over, but he becomes suddenly awfully aware of how ridiculously fucking quick his heart races. He wants to laugh because of how much of a cliché this is. Jinyoung is quiet now, simply looking back at him, narrow eyes dark and Youngjae wonders if he imagines how the arm around his shoulder tightens. What if he’s making it up? What if it’s all in his mind? What if he ruins it?

Are they moving closer? Is it just him? But Jinyoung doesn’t back away, does he?

He does. He pulls his arm back so fast as if he burned himself and slides half a meter away to the other end of the sofa as the door bursts open and crashes into the wall. A person, Jinyoung’s friend Jaebum to be precise storms in and comes to a stumbling halt several steps into the room. Youngjae almost has a heart attack. “We need to talk!” Jaebum yells gasping as if he ran a marathon. He bends over and stems himself onto his knees heaving for air. Then he repeats again, quieter but no less urgent. “We need to talk.”

Jinyoung straightens up. “Woah, bro chill. What’s the matter?” Youngjae slumps deeper into the sofa. Fuck. Standing back up, Jaebum holds his sides. “Need to talk to you.” He says again and his eyes stray into Youngjae’s direction. He doesn’t need to speak it out loud for Youngjae to know that he’s not supposed to be part of that ‘talk’. He scrambles to his feet and collects his bag from the floor. He understands when he’s expected to leave. He doesn’t look at Jinyoung when he mumbles his ‘Goodbye’. Whatever that thing was between them, now it’s ruined and it could have hardly ended in a more uncomfortable way.

“I’ll text you.” Jinyoung calls after him which lightens the weight on his heart at least a little bit as he quietly walks out the door. Sadly, it’s then that things escalate.

  


When he comes home, he finds Yugyeom sitting on his bed, arms crossed and face sullen. Youngjae frowns, he doesn’t get a response to his ‘Hi’. “Stop.” Yugyeom says sternly after he sat down on his chair. “Excuse me?” He asks. He’s feeling beaten enough, he’s not sure he can now bear one of Yugyeom’s moods. “Stop seeing him.” He specifies, eyes shooting daggers at him.

Of course they’ve fought before, they’ve been friends for a really long time and sometimes you fight in a friendship, but he’s never been on the receiving end of so much concentrated anger from his younger friend. He tenses. “What are you talking about?” He wants to know, but somehow he has an idea. “Oh you  _know_ !” Yugyeom spits expectedly. “I don’t want you to see him anymore!” He still repeats. Youngjae sags a little into his seat. “Why?” He asks, feigning calmness. He wants to scream “NEVER!”

Yugyeom’s expression darkens further. “You like him!” He hisses and it’s not a question. Youngjae shivers. It’s tough, hearing it said out loud. He knew that, of course. But he pretended he didn’t. He likes Jinyoung, he desperately wants to stay friends with him. Or become friends if they’re not yet. But that’s not what Yugyeom means and it’s not entirely the essence of what he feels. He fidgets nervously. He knew also, that there was something suspicious about Yugyeom and Jinyoung.

“And?” He asks, unable to elaborate. Yugyeom can’t forbid him to meet Jinyoung as much as he wants, but then again he can, because that’s not what friends do, right? “Oh, fuck you, Youngjae!” Yugyeom’s voice gets louder. “Just stop it.” He orders. “I didn’t mean to…” Youngjae starts, but he has no idea what he actually wants to say, so he goes silent in the middle of the sentence. It’s enough though, his voice small. Yugyeom deflates, he drops down onto the comforter with his whole body and grumbles.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” He says quietly, more approachable. “What?” Youngjae breathes softly. Yugyeom shakes his head. “He was supposed to teach you for like, a couple of times. You weren’t supposed to… _get along_.” There’s a dull throbbing in Youngjae’s chest, something eerily akin to fear. Discomfort. “You can’t be like that with him.” Yugyeom again sits up, voice again more energetic. “He did that for me, you know?” Youngjae tries to ignore how a hundred of thin needle pick at his heart. “What?” He repeats. Yugyeom throws his arms over his head. “Offer to teach you!” He almost-yells. “He was trying to get on _my_ good side. He was trying to impress _me_! This wasn’t _about_ you, this isn’t supposed to _be_ about you, ever. You weren’t supposed to make him _like_ you!”

Youngjae’s fingertips go numb. Yugyeom’s face blurs before his vision. Of course. Of course, he knew, something about them was suspicious. But he didn’t think… He remembers, when he first met Jinyoung, how he said it.  _“If it is_ Yugyeom _who asked…”_ Something very cold crawls down his back. Was none of this ever because of Youngjae? Did they not get along so well? Was there not this… this  _thing_ between them? What if? What if Jinyoung wasn’t available for so many lessons on so many days for so many hours because he wanted to spend time with him? Because he felt how they clicked in the same way that Youngjae felt it? If he did that just so he could collect points with Yugyeom?

Youngjae’s jaw tightens.

But what if… what if he did? Youngjae blinks and Yugyeom’s upset face comes into view again. Yugyeom is so mature and so confident and so bright, sometimes it’s easy to forget just how young he is. He looks hurt. Vulnerable and young.

What if Jinyoung did, in fact, feel the click? What he if really genuinely like Youngjae? As much as he doubts it right now. Just, what if? Just today, Youngjae thinks, they almost kissed. What if they had? What would he have done to Yugyeom? Does Jinyoung know about Yugyeom’s feelings? Would he kiss Youngjae if he did?

“Hyung?” Yugyeom’s small voice wavers through the air and tears him out of his trance. He blinks again. Chest tight and voice dull he says. “Sorry.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, now that took a while, didn't it. Don't worry, when have I ever left you hanging? You know I finish everything I post. This just turned longer than was planned. It’s already more words than Sparkle (and not finished obv.) and I updated chapter count by 1. It’s not really such a complex storyline, but the porn is quite wordy.

It’s not that Youngjae has made up his mind in any way. He doesn’t exactly plan to follow Yugyeom’s request. He thinks that maybe it _is_ time to cancel the lessons. For a variety of reasons. But then he could, maybe, ask Jinyoung what _he’s_ thinking. If he wants to meet up still. If he does then that would mean he genuinely likes him, right? And it’s not all about Yugyeom.

What he forgot about, of course, is Jinyoung’s suggestion of going to Karaoke. Why would he not have forgotten that? Jinyoung apparently hasn’t. He texts. Asks to go. Asks to take Yugyeom. Youngjae screams into his pillow. It is so perfectly innocent. So unaware. Of course, how could Jinyoung know what an emotional mess he is right now? Does he know about anything at all? Youngjae can’t find the strength to agree, but he can’t find it in himself to turn Jinyoung down either. They have never been at the same place together. Youngjae has never seen Jinyoung and Yugyeom interact at all. The mental image alone has his stomach turn. What if he can’t bear it? What if Jinyoung just wants to show off to Yugyeom how he made Youngjae like him? This can’t go on. This can’t be happening.

“Are you indecisive?” Jinyoung texts, because Youngjae left him on Read. He sends back a shrugging emoji. “Okay, to be honest. I thought you would be more eager to agree if Yugyeom was also coming.” Jinyoung writes and keeps on doing so. “Let us go there alone if you want. Just the two of us and Yugyeom and others can join us later. If you will want that. First, go there with me. Please.”

Chewing his bottom lip raw, Youngjae sends an okay. It sounds suspicious, but he really, really hopes that it will clarify a few things. And if nothing else, Youngjae can just enjoy spending time with Jinyoung a little bit more. Before he has his heart broken eventually.

 

What he didn’t expect was, that Jinyoung solely planned this whole thing to actually have him sing Karaoke. They settle in a nice room and order drinks and then Jinyoung nudges him. “Go ahead, pick something.” He smiles so sweetly, Youngjae’s chest contracts. Yugyeom had been surprisingly indifferent about this meet-up. Of course Youngjae told him that him and Jinyoung would meet up about an hour earlier, he couldn’t bear the thought of lying to him (of course how would Youngjae otherwise explain why they didn’t leave the house together). But Yugyeom’s shrugs and ‘Okay’s had him wonder if he knew something that Youngjae didn’t. And just like when he first met Jaebum, he was left with the nagging idea that there was one big joke that he unknowingly was the butt of. What if they’re just meeting alone so Jinyoung can clarify some boundaries on Yugyeom’s request?

Except now he sits in a Karaoke place with a beaming Jinyoung that asks him to choose a song. Youngjae folds his arms protectively and falls back into the sofa. “Okay.” Jinyoung laughs lightheartedly. "I guess I’ll go first.” And he does.

The song he picks is cheesy at best, though no matter how hard he tries to comically overdo it, to be goofy and funny – he sounds absolutely wonderful. At least to Youngjae that is. He untangles his arms and even gets dragged down to crack a smile. Jinyoung sings a second song without being asked and it’s goofier, until Youngjae eventually can’t hold back a laugh. So maybe, maybe this was really all about getting him to loosen up before singing in front of his friend. And Jaebum, assumedly. Even if it’s just Karaoke. He doubts it’ll do much for his self-esteem in the long run, but it should be fun, right?

So he does it. It’s not like he hasn’t sung in front of Jinyoung a thousand times, but even if trying to keep up the fun atmosphere, he can’t help himself to try, really hard, along the way. Jinyoung is his teacher right? He has to show he learned something. And the worst part? He notices.

Jinyoung sits back in his seat, arms crossed behind his head with a shit-eating grin, legs spread and posture a mile up from arrogant. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’re trying to impress me.” He says, to which Youngjae sticks his tongue out at him. “But you do know better.” He quips back. “I’m just a fucking great singer.” Jinyoung’s eyes glitter in the flickering light. “Right.” He answers, sitting up properly. “Alright. Sing me something real.” Youngjae sputters. “What?” “Something real.” Jinyoung repeats casually. “Something nice.” Youngjae hesitates. How mean?

“Guess I’ll have to go first again.” Jinyoung slides off his seat and swipes past him, nudging him out of the way. Youngjae sits mechanically. And he does.

The song he picks is cheesy beyond words this time and while he turns around to him and stares at him, he also sounds absolutely breathtaking. Youngjae knows he’s blushing, but he relies on it not being visible and he sits as still as possible while his heart rate picks up to beat in an impossible speed. He knew Jinyoung could sing, but he didn’t know how amazing he is when he’s actually trying. The song finishes too soon and even more so, because Jaebum unceremoniously breaks out into his boyish grin just when the last note ends and holds out the mic for him. “Your turn.”

Youngjae can’t. He gets up as unenthusiastic as he grabs the microphone, but he can’t even think of a song he knows the words to. “Well, then I will.” Jinyoung offers, once again, picks something way too romantic, and way too slow, but when Youngjae attempts to slither away to sit down again, he wraps an arm around his shoulder. “No no, together.” He insists. When the song starts playing, he curls his arm all the way around him, keeping him tightly sealed to his side and closes his hand around Youngjae’s, the one with the mic, to hold it up to his own face. They’re really, really close, if Youngjae were aware of his senses he could probably make out the scent of his skin and the soft little hairs on his arm.

After one part, Jinyoung guides the mic over to Youngjae, but he fails miserably. Maybe, he thinks unconsciously, he’s not even trying. He won’t. “What’s wrong, you were so good before!”, Jinyoung yells over the music. How can someone be that clueless, he wonders. Does Jinyoung not notice anything at all? Does this really mean nothing? Can’t he see his feelings, just because his world revolves around Yugyeom already? Who even is he in Jinyoung’s eyes? Youngjae turns his head and finds his eyes looking at him attentively. More so than he’d thought. Not challenging, maybe curious, but definitely not accusing. Youngjae swallows, maybe visibly, because Jinyoung’s eyes flicker down for a moment. He lets the microphone sink and maybe Youngjae just lets it fall. This is the closest they’ve ever been. The longest they’ve ever touched.

Jinyoung’s hand lets go of his, swipes up his arm, leaving goosebumps in its trail and onto his back. Youngjae isn’t sure if it’s conscious, but he turns further towards him until they’re face to face and as Jinyoung’s second hand joins the first, wandering down to settle on the small of his back, Youngjae ends up effectively in his embrace.

The song is still playing, still slow and romantic, like their very own cheesy movie soundtrack and Youngjae finds himself moving along with it when he wraps his arms around Jinyoung’s shoulders, like he’s sealing the hug.

It’s awkward in some way. Like they were agreeing on going there but now that they arrived they don’t know any further. They’re moving, barely, Jinyoung’s hold guiding him along to the notes as if they were dancing, but they’re not.

They will do it now. Just like last time, Youngjae thinks it’s obvious. They’re going to and he can’t remember all the things that made him doubt it. He stares up in Jinyoung’s face, who is still just a notch taller than him, even though he feels titanic to Youngjae most of the time.

Colorful specks of light flicker across Jinyoung’s skin. It looks otherworldly. He does. He’s gorgeous this up close. Youngjae stares into his eyes, mesmerized, arms locked around his shoulders. He can feel his strong hands on his waist, where they used to guide him, but he doesn’t anymore. They stilled in unison. Soft sway of bodies slowing and slowing and now they’re motionless and they’re close. Youngjae’s heart is thumping rapidly in his chest, he knows there’s no putting this off anymore, no talking it away.

Their bodies are connected by the hips, no pressure but a firm touch, enough to let him feel the heat. And their faces are so, so close. Youngjae notices how Jinyoung’s eyes flutter down to his lips every so often and as if his gaze was a physical touch Youngjae feels them tingle in expectation. They move closer and closer and just when Youngjae thinks it’s inevitable… He chickens out.

He ducks his head away and places it against Jinyoung’s chest, nuzzling his face into the collar of his hoodie. Jinyoung either huffs or chuckles. His hold tightens just a bit more. It’s nice, still. Just standing there embracing each other. The music has stopped by now, Youngjae doesn’t know how long. “I like holding you.” Jinyoung whispers in his hair, chasing a shiver down his back all the way to his toes. “But I would also like to kiss you.”

Youngjae answers with a soft whimper and presses closer, keeping his face hidden. When Jinyoung attempts to detach them, he steels his arms around his neck to keep it from happening. So he doesn’t have to look at him. “I’m not sure.” He breathes quietly. Jinyoung soothingly rubs his back and he says “Okay.” But it doesn’t sound quite so okay. And Youngjae heard that right, because a moment later, really ineffectively hiding his disappointment he mumbles. “I thought you liked me back…”

Youngjae gasps. Back? Does that mean Jinyoung likes him first? He does tear away now and blinks rapidly. And to his immense surprise he finds Jinyoung’s cheeks tint a soft shade of pink. Youngjae can’t remember all the reasons. All the obstacles. But one thing is strangely clear. The reason why he pushed the thoughts out of his mind from the very start. Not exactly because he ought not to have them. Because they were new.

“I’ve never liked a boy.” Youngjae blurts out a little too loud. And while it’s true, he regrets it immediately, hiding his face behind his hands. It sounds stupid out loud, but new and unknown things have always frightened him.

Jinyoung’s grip on his waist loosens, he strokes up his sides gently, all the way up to his shoulders and then down his arms. His fingers slide over his elbows and then curl around his wrists, similar to when he held the microphone, thumbs stroking the back of his hands as he pulls them away from his face with gentle force.

Youngjae’s eyes find his gaze again. He waits for Jinyoung to say something, but he doesn’t. He just stares and it’s so intense and so sincere, he almost shudders under it. Youngjae really, effectively has never been in love before. But he thinks he might. If only he knew what comes next. If only he remembered what’s giving him this queasy feeling in his stomach. He waits for Jinyoung to lean in and try to kiss him again, but he doesn’t.

He attempts to wrestle his wrists out of his grip, expecting it to be a challenge, but at the first slightest pull, Jinyoung already lets him go and it has him lose his balance and stumble backwards. “Oh.” Jinyoung makes and launches after him, hastily slinging his arms around his waist again. Youngjae’s breath hitches, he digs his fingers into Jinyoung’s shirt and pulls himself up.

Without knowing why or how, he pushes in and crashes their lips together. Jinyoung’s are soft and wet and plush. And yet it’s not really that nice of a kiss. It’s kind of rushed, which makes it messy. Not like it should be, for their first kiss. It doesn’t last very long, though. There’s no tongue and yet Youngjae is out of breath when they part. Jinyoung’s eyes are wide, his lips move without sound like Youngjae sometimes sees him do. He feels his ears heat up. This didn’t go at all as he hoped it would. Embarrassment has him pull away from Jinyoung’s embrace, duck his head and whisper “Ugh, Sorry.”

That breaks Jinyoung from his trance. “What for?!” He asks frowning and follows the one, two steps that Youngjae backed away. “That was awkward.” Youngjae mutters, face burning. “Who cares.” Jinyounf insists, fiery. “Firsts can be awkward. I liked it.” He snatches Youngjae by the shoulders and holds him as he leans in again. Youngjae’s eyes flutter shut as on instinct. Jinyoung is so close, he can already feel his warm breath on his lips when he murmurs. “I do like you.” Youngjae’s own breath hitches, his heart leaps and he wonders how many times Jinyoung can make him feel like that, then warm, gentle lips are on his again.

It’s vastly different. Jinyoung’s motions are measured, not hasty, the press of his lips gentle and sweet. Youngjae melts away on the spot. Just then he realizes what's happening. They’re kissing. Jinyoung is kissing him. His arms come up to wrap around Jinyoung’s shoulders, just the way they stood first and he tilts his head, just enough of an invitation to deepen it and would you guess it, Jinyoung’s tongue comes out to nudge between his lips. It’s so innocently naughty and Youngjae couldn’t even try to define the strange feeling in his chest. And all that whilst he is, actually, not that much of a kisser. But then again, what he told Jinyoung was true. He never liked anybody. So maybe that’s what had been lacking in all the kisses he shared. This one, this is right. And he wants more. Nothing specific, actually. Just more.

He pushes. Not detaching from Jinyoung, but pushing him until he stumbles backwards to the seats. They disconnect as Jinyoung screeches when he falls, the edge of the sofa cutting behind his knees. Youngjae climbs after him, straddles down on his lap and crashes their mouths together. His fingers tangle in Jinyoung’s hair, his lips part and his tongue invites Jinyoung’s to play, eager, but not forceful. Youngjae doesn’t know what he’s thinking, he might not be thinking at all. Jinyoung’s left him intimidated, shy, with all his kindness and sweet nature and his innocent display of affection and it confuses him. But this is a territory he feels more comfortable with. And the more he busies himself, the more easily he can avoid thinking about all the consequences.

That is until Jinyoung’s face twists away, out of his reach and they part gasping. Youngjae’s heart, beating furiously in excitement and arousal stutters in fear. He turns Jinyoung’s head back towards him, palm against his cheek. “Wait, Youngjae, I need you to…” Jinyoung gasps, evading his intruding lips. “I like you.” Youngjae breathes out, barely coherent. He does, he really does. Jinyoung makes a small sound, high-pitched and tortured. “Oh god.” He mutters and then adds “No. I need to…”

He’s cut off. The door to the Karaoke-Room bursts open, too forceful to be necessary and Youngjae wonders if that’s the only possible way he’ll ever see Jaebum. When he’s bursting through doors. He almost falls off Jinyoung’s lap when Jaebum and Yugyeom step over the Threshold. Their eyes find them in that very suggestive position and both pairs grow large. Embarrassed to death Youngjae slides off Jinyoung’s legs and onto the seat next to him. Reality comes crashing back in.

Yugyeom. And Jinyoung. His heart contracts painfully, eyes casting down to his friend’s feet where they stopped dead in their tracks in front of the door. The euphoria he felt when he thought that Jinyoung, after all, does like him, trickles away until it is replaced by nothing but doubt and fear and something else. If Jinyoung likes him after all, where will that leave Yugyeom? Youngjae knows that he has a thing for Jinyoung and yet he didn’t even think about that when he kissed him. Does a friend do that? He feels terrible, but there is something else. Something he wishes he didn’t feel. Spite.

If Jinyoung chooses him over Yugyeom… isn’t it his right to have it?

Jinyoung yelps, sputters and then yells. “Wait!” He jumps to his feet, startling Youngjae. “Wait, stop, no!” He rushes towards Jaebum and pushes against his chest. “Get out!” He pleads. “I’m not done yet, I haven’t… Not yet!” He’s babbling while he pushes and pulls the two newcomers back out the door. Then he says one last sentence. “Please, Jinyoung-ah. Just another moment.”

Youngjae looks up just in time to see Yugyeom’s raised brow and amused smirk, before the door falls back shut, locking them outside. Then only Jinyoung is left, turning around towards him with the most solemn expression Youngjae has ever seen him with. They look at each other while Youngjae’s brain works overtime. Finally his mouth gets the clue. He frowns. “Jinyoung-ah?”

Jinyoung shuffles on the spot. His mouth opens a few times, a mouth that Youngjae has just kissed, but he doesn’t make a sound. Youngjae feels awkward down on the sofa so he gets to his feet. “Hyung?” He asks quietly. Jinyoung groans and hides his face behind his hands. “Mh... t… …nyoung.” He mumbles behind them. Youngjae kicks his toes against the sofa’s legs. Something is burning inside him. He knows he shouldn’t have given in. He shouldn’t have kissed him. Not while everything was unclear and confusing. “What?” He asks. Jinyoung huffs.

“Am not Jinyoung!” He says more clearly, but still into his palms. Youngjae’s arms cross again. “What?!” He repeats. Jinyoung’s hands sink. Or… who? He looks up, entirely defeated. “I lied.” He swallows and speaks crooked. “I’m… I’m Jaebum. Im Jaebum. I… He…” His hand gestures wildly to the door. “Jinyoung.” Youngjae’s eyes flicker to the door and back to Jinyoung. Who is not Jinyoung apparently? “What?” He asks again. It doesn’t make sense.

Jinyoung takes a deep breath. “I. Lied.” He concludes clearly. Yeah, Youngjae knows that and it angers him just as much as it confuses him. He doesn’t know why anyone would lie about that, but the fact that he got lied to by the person he just so thought he was in love with. He’s torn between requesting an explanation and yelling.

“When I first met you.” Jinyoung… no- _Jaebum_ explains quietly. “And you told me that you wanted singing lessons I… You said Yugyeom and. Well I knew it was Jinyoung who offered it, because. You know. He’s super into him.” He shrugs helplessly. “I just… I just wanted to be the one who…” Youngjae frowns. “I wanted to have a chance to… know you? It’s just… I thought you were so cute.” Youngjae feels his jaw work. That doesn’t make any sense. This man doesn’t make sense.

“I didn’t know who Jinyoung was even.” He says irritated. Jaebum twitches. “I know I know. I mean now. Not then. I just… I just thought I should grab the chance to… you know…” “To what?!” Youngjae asks louder. Was that it? The big joke? The all-spanning weird secret? “To impress you.” Jaebum admits. “Look, I know it was stupid. I didn’t think. You were so cute. I thought I could be the one who teaches you and… I didn’t even think I’d keep it up. I was gonna tell you right after that… But then Jinyoung found out and…”

“And he was _in on it_?” Youngjae cuts him off, just now realizing that Jinyoung, the real Jinyoung whom he barely even knows must have known, otherwise it would have come out. And, something dreadfully settles in his mind. “Did Yugyeom also know?!” Jaebum raises his hands in surrender. “No!” He secures. “No, he didn’t. I mean Jinyoung could collect all the points without even having to work for it, so… we kind of just…”

“Points?!” Youngjae bends down and picks up Jaebum’s phone from the small table, lashing out and throwing it right in his face. It misses, but it hits him in the chest harshly and noisily clatters to the ground. “Ah.” He yells and holds the spot, desperately looking back at Youngjae. “I’m sorry!” He wheezes. “POINTS?!” Youngjae spits, irritation settling so deeply in his guts, his thoughts won’t work coherently. “Is Yugyeom a Flipper machine? Did he get the Highscore?! What am I? You were just gonna lie to me, to _us_ , just as long as it suited your purpose?” He asks, shuffling on the ground. “Whatever that may be, until you what? Get laid?” He watches Jaebum pipe up and shake his head desperately, but doesn’t speak. “What the hell was the stupid plan behind that?!” He rages on and Jaebum finally chimes in loudly. “There _was_ no plan.” His eyes are pleading. “No plan. I was just being stupid. Really stupid. I short-circuited, when I saw you.”

Youngjae grabs his things that scattered on the sofa and table and scoffs. “That’s a lame fucking excuse. You even dare to blame it on me when you were a fucking asshole. Smooth move, playboy.” He pushes past him and grabs the door. “Go fuck yourself.” He tears it open and marches out. Yugyeom is still in the hallway, along with the person Youngjae thought for the longest time was Jinyoung’s weird friend Jaebum. Yugyeom’s eyes are wide, but at least the real Jinyoung has the decency to look ashamed.

Yugyeom knew, Youngjae just realizes. He knew before him and he stayed quiet and now he’s standing there like nothing happened and it makes Youngjae so angry. He turns away and leaves without a word.

He knows that Yugyeom is coming after him while he marches down the street, but whenever he closes in, Youngjae speeds up his steps until he gets the hint and stays behind. The march is exhausting and he’s out of breath when he finally scrambled up the stairs to their shared apartment, demonstratively throwing the door shut behind himself, so he’s out of his shoes and back on his bed when Yugyeom finally unlocks the door again and can follow him.

He’s tentative when he steps inside his room and stops by the doorway. Youngjae doesn’t look at him. He’s mad. “Are you mad?” Yugyeom asks quietly. Youngjae huffs in response. “Are you not?” He wants to know, frowning at a spot on the opposite wall. “No.” Yugyeom admits softly and somehow that makes Youngjae angrier. “Fine. Whatever.” He makes. “Get out. I need to think.” Yugyeom doesn’t get out, so Youngjae buries his head in his hands. Saying that he’s confused would be an understatement. Somehow he feels like he still doesn’t know the full truth. Like he’s left out of something and now Yugyeom is in on it, too.

He thought he liked Jinyoung. And then suddenly Jinyoung isn’t there anymore and he’s left with nothing but a hollow spot. He doesn’t even _know_ the guy. Romantic feelings are frightening. But it’s almost unbearable when nothing even goes right. How did he go there from singing lessons?

“How did you know?” Youngjae inquires, lifting his head and finally looking at his best friend awkwardly standing there. “Uhm…” He says carefully. “Jinyoung told me… the other day.” “How are you not mad?!” Youngjae stares at him in disbelief. “Why didn’t you tell me?!” He jumps down from his bed because he feels like he needs to be standing, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s still shorter than Yugyeom. “We fought!” He adds finally.

Yugyeom shifts on the spot. “I know. That’s why I was so relieved. I thought you’d be too?” Youngjae can’t process that train of thought. “What?” Yugyeom finally walks over, passes him too closely and throws himself on his bed. “I mean. I yelled at Jinyoung. I totally wrecked him.” There’s the ghost of a smirk crossing over his face. “But in reality I am just glad that he didn’t… You know…” He blinks up in Youngjae’s eyes. “… fall in love with you.”

A shudder rolls down his back over the words. ‘In love with’. It now seems like a distant dream. “But I thought.” He gives back. “… We thought we liked the same guy.” Yugyeom shrugs. “But we don’t. Isn’t that good? Also I told you Jaebum was a cool guy. And you obviously think so.” The lightheartedness of his speech freaks Youngjae out. He stomps the ground, twists around and rubs his face growling. Or, as Bam Bam would describe it. He throws a tantrum.

“But it doesn’t undo that we fought!” He yells. “It can’t undo how I felt. Or what I thought!” He stares down at Yugyeom accusingly. “You literally forbid me from meeting him! You wanted to have him for yourself and I…” He heaves a ragged breath. “Me too.” Yugyeom stares at him for a while, innocent eyes wide. “But it doesn’t matter now.” He eventually concludes. “It was a misunderstanding. You can have him.”

“A _misunderstaning_?!” Youngjae snaps. “They lied to us! Jinyoung deceived you, like you’re a prize to win! And me, he… he made me think I was an awful person for wanting him, even though you… and I thought… I just thought he was honest!” He feels drained all of a sudden. Powerless as if his batteries had run out and he falls into his chair. Yugyeom crawls a little closer to the edge of his bed. “And you could dwell on that.” He says soothingly. “Or we could all just forget about it. I mean… not that I won’t make Jinyoung gravel.” He trails off, sporting his devilish smirk. “And you can do the same. But I won’t take boys being idiots as a reason to not have my cake and eat it too.”

Youngjae eyes him suspiciously. “You like him that much?” He sighs deflated. Yugyeom shrugs. “I like how he goes out of his way to woo me.” Then his voice changes to a more serious note. “I hated the idea that he might genuinely come to like you. I’m sorry, I wasn’t the best friend.” “Yeah.” Youngjae huffs. “Me neither.” To which Yugyeom frowns. “You didn’t do anything.”

It’s Youngjae’s turn to shift uncomfortably. “Well… for a start, I kissed Jinyoung.” He explains, quickly correcting himself. “Jaebum, of course.” The name feels strange on his tongue. “When I still thought he was Jinyoung and I still did it. I mean, despite knowing that you like him, so how’s that.” Yugyeom opens his mouth, but Youngjae decides to not let him speak. “I am honestly not sure…. If I did because I like him so much. Or if it was just because… because I always believed that there’s no way a guy would like me when he could have you and then when I got the chance… I just wanted… Something.” He concludes, dropping his head.

“And I.” Yugyeom answers sternly. “Have told you a million times that you have to stop thinking I was better than you.” He scoots in to grab his shoulder. “That was shitty. Okay. We both did some stupid things. We all do and say stupid things when we’re in love!” Youngjae glances up. “Do we?” He asks quietly to which Yugyeom groans. “Yes, idiot. I mean, it was’t nice, okay. But we were left off the hook. No consequences. Why should we fight? I don’t want to fight. I want my best friend.”

Very carefully Youngjae nods. It doesn’t sound too bad. It doesn’t make all the worrying and overthinking that he’s done go away. But at least he won’t have to worry anymore now and that’s worth something. Right?

It’s quiet for a long while. Youngjae’s anger trickles away until he feels deflated. He’s not sure where to start, everything turned so messy so quickly. Had he just really been in the Karaoke room with Jinyoung? And had they really kissed? His eyes flicker over to Yugyeom who monitors him curiously. Not Jinyoung, he chastises himself. Jinyoung is the weird friend. The one that’s apparently so into Yugyeom, the one Youngjae finds to be somewhat unsympathetic. Does Yugyeom really like that guy? And Jaebum. That’s actually his name, the guy that Youngjae likes. He thinks. The one who’d been so sweet to him and, he realizes, not at all for Yugyeom’s sake.

He didn’t teach Youngjae to get on Yugyeom’s good side. And he spent time with him, he shivers mildly, just because he wanted to? It feels like he just now understands what it all means. Jaebum hung out with him on his own terms and. And they kissed. Damn.

“So. Hyung.” Yugyeom finally speaks up, a genuine smile around his mouth. “You _do_ like him, don’t you?” Youngjae shrugs before he even thinks about it. He’s not sure he can give a definite answer to that yet. He does. He really does like him so much. But is that really it? Is it what Yugyeom means? Does he want to go out with Jaebum or something? Especially now that he feels so let down and disappointed? Could he even meet up with him and not feel weird? Or angry? Or deceived?

“Come one Hyung.” Yugyeom pokes. “We walked in on you straddling him! In public!” Youngjae’s ears get warm and he ducks his head. Yeah, he might have gotten carried away there a little. “It was…” He tries. “It was kind of… a heat of the moment thing.” He mumbles. “Like- we kissed and then… I don’t know man.” Yugyeom giggles like a teenage-girl. “You’re so cute.” He leans forward and pinches Youngjae’s cheek, having him huff and slap his hand away. “I’ve always wanted to see you fall in love. That’s great, Hyung.” He sits back and pierces him with his gaze. “Just give it a try, please.”

 

Youngjae isn’t ready for it when Jaebum first tries to call him. He stares at his buzzing phone and doesn’t pick up. To his credit, he waits an hour before calling again. Then waits a day. On the fourth call, Youngjae no longer lets it ring. He rejects it and Jaebum stops. It’s suspicious to say the least and Youngjae can’t help wondering if it is not actually that urgent. What if Jaebum will shrug it off and let him go? He doesn’t want that. It’s only been a few days and Youngjae misses him badly. He misses his ‘lessons’, misses hanging out together, lounging around talking and laughing and… Fuck, he hates this.

And it makes him angry. He’s standing outside the library, sipping his overpriced latte while he’s waiting for Bam Bam and his eyes wander around the campus grounds, magically drawn towards the art department for some reason. He doesn’t go there usually, only did so in the last months to meet up with Jinyoung, when Jinyoung was still Jinyoung. A half-assed unconscious plan builds in his head of how he could swing by there casually, maybe pretend he’s passing accidentally. He shakes it off when a hand gently grips his shoulder.

He turns around with a scowl, expecting to find Bam Bam and ready to scold him for letting him wait. But it’s not Bam Bam. Instead he finds himself face to face with the man that dominated his thoughts for the past weeks in one form or another. He sounds breathless when he puffs out a quiet “Youngjae.”

Youngjae’s brain melts into a puddle of goo in a blink and he suddenly forgets how words work, so he gawks back silently. Jaebum takes about half a step back, twisting his fingers together, but grinning too. “Hey.” He says. Nothing but. Just ‘Hey’. And Youngjae finds himself responding. “Hi.” It’s almost painful to watch how Jaebum’s face lights up as if Youngjae had just confessed his love or something, simply because he didn’t tell him off or run away or whatever he might have expected.

It’s awkward standing there with pretty much nothing to say and Youngjae really doesn’t know where the words come from when they tumble out of his mouth. He hadn’t planned it, but somehow it’s exactly what he means. “Who are you?” He asks. In some way it’s a joke, but then, is it really?

Jaebum’s mouth falls open, amusement flashes behind his eyes, quickly, but then he retreats, posture falling in on itself, the confident stance with the swelling chest and straight back that Youngjae always admired. It just withers away. “Oh.” Jaebum makes, a soundless gasp more than anything. His face turns away, eyes sweeping over the scattered crowds as if he was looking for something, here and there before they flicker back and their gazes meet. “Okay.” He finally says. And again. “Okay.” He nods. “I can do that.” It’s as if he’s talking to himself, then he straightens his shoulders and reaches out his hand. “I’m Jaebum. Nice to meet you.”

Youngjae clutches his coffee cup a little tighter in his right hand, not planning to shake Jaebum’s, even though he has the unbearable urge to do so. Not just that. To grab his hand and pull him in and maybe kiss him, in the middle of hundreds of people. Of course he doesn’t. Jaebum awkwardly takes his arm back to instead rub his face and sigh. “Okay look Youngjae. I’m sorry.” He quietly tells. Youngjae takes a sip of his coffee, because he doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t want to do something childish like run off or yell. Especially because he really doesn’t want to get away or make Jaebum go away for that matter. He just doesn’t know.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you or anything.” Jaebum keeps speaking when he realizes that Youngjae will let him. “I was stupid and everything was just stupid, but I didn’t lie when I said I liked you. And I just kept going with the whole… teaching thing because I wanted to keep spending time with you. I mean, why else would I have done that, right? I…” He trails off, going silent all of a sudden, which Youngjae is grateful for as he wouldn’t have been able to hear another word with how loud and rapid his heart is beating.

“I want to make it up to you. If I can, in any way. I would like to. So maybe uhm… Maybe you will go out with me?” Jaebum tilts his head somewhat cute, but Youngjae just blinks. Huh? He’s so taken aback by the sudden topic change that now he really can’t answer, but also forgets to sip from his coffee. Jaebum’s expecting face is a whole other ordeal from his apologetic face and Youngjae doesn’t know how to deal, because the hopeful brightness of his makes his stomach churn. “Huh?”

He doesn’t notice that Jaebum’s voice slightly wavers when he repeats. “Can I take you out for a date?” Youngjae actually thinks about it right then and there, unwittingly putting Jaebum’s patience to the test as he does. Can he? Will he? Date? Coffee? Dinner? Movies? A walk by the river, holding hands, having drinks, buying gifts? He stares at Jaebum, of whom he thought that he  _finally_ was what all the people and all the media and the whole world always talked about. The kind where, if inexperienced people ask ‘How do I know I like them?’ The answer is almost always ‘You’ll know when it happens.’ And Youngjae knew it. He knows. And yet he can’t find himself wanting to agree. And he’s not sure it even is Jaebum’s fault.

His eyes wander thoughtfully and they end up the same direction he’s found himself staring a lot in the past days. Over to the art faculty where the ratty studio sits and the longing he felt whenever he does suddenly makes the decision easy for him. He doesn’t want to go out with Jaebum. He doesn’t want to date that stranger. He wants Jinyoung.

“No.” He answers. Jaebum is not very brave. He casts his eyes to the ground in defeat, pulling up his tense shoulders. And very timidly he nods. “Okay.” He mumbles soundlessly.

It is in that moment, with the worst possible timing that Bam Bam sidles up to him excitedly out of nowhere, punching him in the side, yelling “Yooo, what’s up.” Youngjae startles, almost drops his coffee and only after that Bam Bam senses the tight atmosphere that calms his excitement down. His head whips back and forth between them, then he grins. “You must be the heartbreaker.” He states, slinging an arm around Youngjae’s shoulder. “Came to do some graveling?” Jaebum’s face twists looking at Bam Bam, but despite his sour look he nods.

Youngjae’s heart makes a tiny little flutter. “You’re so fucking late, Bam.” He scolds, turning away from Jaebum, even though it stings. His friend looks uncommonly irritated. “Let’s go.” Youngjae adds, hinting to walk away. Only after one or two steps he looks back over his shoulder, calling out “Bye Hyung.” To the forlorn figure that is Jaebum. “Just text me when you got time for my next lesson.” Then he strides forward, pulling Bam Bam along with him without awaiting a reaction.

It’s only when they’re far far away that Bam Bam twists out of his grip and asks. “What the fuck, Dude?” Youngjae blinks over at him. Bam Bam, the only person not taller than him. He thinks he might be blushing considering how warm his face feels. He doesn’t know what came over him, but all that casual confidence is now gone. He shrugs. “I might just give it a chance.” He confesses weakly to which Bam Bam frowns. “Like I care!” He chides and rubs his arm. “I mean what the fuck you had to crush my wrist like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, sorry, no porn yet. Guess you're gonna have to come back!  
> Also, I think the story is pretty much finished here? Idk. Not dragging it out, just... you know. You know.  
> I was gonna end the chapter after the convo with Yugyeom is over, but the next chapter is already so long, so I thought this would be a nice cut, ending on a happier note here.
> 
> To the fainthearted, I think you fought through the angsty stuff for good.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You did not see that coming now, did you? So quick after I've left you waiting forever dir Last chapter. And boom here's the porn I promised you. And can I just say that this is not the original porn that I needed to give a home? That one comes next chapter and it's gonna be so cute.
> 
> Also, sorry if there are formatting issues or sth, I am uploading from my phone bc at home my internet don't work. Q_Q

The faked casual-ness only lasts two text-messages long. As soon as Youngjae steps into the familiar studio room and Jaebum jumps to his feet hastily to greet him, all the pretense of normalcy falls off them. As much as Youngjae would like it, he then knows this won’t work. Jaebum eyes him nervously, biting on his lips and eventually asks. “Do you ehm… Want to actually… Continue the lessons?” Youngjae sighs as he walks over and throws himself down on the sofa. “No.” He answers truthfully. Jaebum sits next to him very carefully, but not leaving as much space between them as he could have.

“I just wanted to feel like I did when we would hang out.” Youngjae explains, glancing at him. “See if… If it still feels that way or… I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Yeah.” Jaebum breathes. “Yeah, it’s okay. It’s enough for me to know you don’t hate me.” Youngjae snorts. “I don’t hate you.” Jaebum scoots a little closer. “Good.” He mumbles. “Because I really am sorry I lied to you. It was a mistake, I didn’t mean to and I _promise_ , it will never happen again.”

Youngjae lays his head back onto the rest and turns his face halfway. “Bold of you to assume you get a chance to lie to me again.” He chatters, witnessing a pout forming on Jaebum’s face. “More than the lie, even.” He admits. “I hate the feeling of not being taken seriously. Or be made fun of. That’s the difference between me and Yugyeom. He just trusts on the fact that Jinyoung lied to him to… I don’t know, up himself to his level. Not because he looks down on him.” “I don’t look down on you!” Jaebum throws in exasperated, to which Youngjae shrugs. “Doesn’t matter if I still feel that way.”

It’s quiet for a moment until Jaebum repeats. “I don’t look down on you. But I do see my mistake of not taking it seriously.” Youngjae sits up to frown at him. “Not you as a person!” Jaebum explains quickly. “The… thing.” He gestures wildly. “The dating thing or… courting.” Youngjae can’t help the way his nose scrunches in disgust. “Courting… Don’t say that. Gross.”

“What I mean is:” Now Jaebum sits up too, looking at him seriously. “I used to date girls and it never worked out, because I wasn’t… well… It wasn’t right for me and of course not for them either. Then I started liking boys and it worked out even less. Like, I didn’t even get to the dating part, because they never liked me back or they were straight or even homophobic. And that hurt and I kind of stopped taking any of it seriously. I figured, where’s the harm, you’re not going to like me back anyways. And then you kind of did, I think and I was stuck in this stupid lie and didn’t know what to do.” He’s left breathless after his monologue, that pleading look back in his eyes that Youngjae has seen before.

He feels a hint of pity for Jaebum, remembering the girl in High-School who gathered all her courage to confess to him and all he could do was to reject her because there was no way he could return her feelings. He’d felt pity then too. “I take it serious now. I really do.” Jaebum adds quietly, so sincere it makes Youngjae’s heart do a few painful thumps. He tries to convince himself that Jaebum’s confessions pressure him into it, but in reality he just really wants to share his feelings. For real. “When I said that I never liked a boy.” He says slowly. “It’s not because I didn’t know I was gay yet or something. I always knew, I just… never liked anyone. I think.” He looks at Jaebum’s face, handsome as he his, eyes trained on him attentively, hair as messy as always and thinks that he now does. Really does.

“I don’t know what’s right.” He keeps talking. “I don’t know what my feelings are or how they work or… anything. I can’t deal with those bumps in the road if I can’t even drive.” Jaebum smiles, barely visible. “Okay.” He says softly. “No more bumps.” And he draws a cross over his heart. He leans in even more. “Date?” He asks in a near-whisper and he’s so close by now that Youngjae can feel his breath ghost over his face when he does and he has to close his eyes for a moment to deal. Then he shakes his head, not quite fast enough in opening his eyes back up to witness the face he makes when he lets out the saddest little whine he’s ever heard.

He takes a deep breath to steady himself and reaches his arm out to grab Jaebum’s shoulder as comforting as he can. “It’s not… I do…” He needs another, deeper breath. “I would like to… Just not… I don’t want anything adventurous.” He tries to explain. “Like go-on-dates-dating kind of way. I would rather just… be comfortable with you like we’ve done before. Can’t we just do that?” He pleads. Jaebum doesn’t seem fazed. He makes a non-commited ‘Uh-huh’ and if Youngjae isn’t mistaken, he’s scooted in even closer, their arms are almost touching and he stares at him intently, just not in his eyes.

Youngjae huffs out a breath, but still he allows his eyes to fall shut when it seems inevitable. It’s not more than a second before Jaebum’s gentle lips press onto his own, careful but finite. It’s a chaste kiss, sweet and nice and Youngjae does not get overcome with the desire to straddle him. Welp. So be it.

 

It’s only when they have to set their very first official non-singing-lessons meet-up that Jaebum timidly admits that he shouldn’t be pointlessly blocking the studio anymore (Something he shouldn’t have done in the first place). Jaebum insisted on walking him all the way home, even though Youngjae had always walked by himself, but he didn’t exactly hate it, especially because Jaebum held his hand as they walked side by side in comfortable silence.

Now they’re in front of his door and because Youngjae still doesn’t love the real Jinyoung and because now Jaebum knows where he lives, he offers that they can hang in his room next time. He gets a Goodbye kiss and one of those beaming, toothy smiles and for the rest of the night Youngjae randomly breaks out into a dreamy grin as his heart flutters when he thinks about it.

It takes all but one “date” of Jaebum coming over to his place to scar Yugyeom for life. Where they chill on the sofa with a movie and they get distracted by each other’s mouths just as Yugyeom comes home from a course. And since then he doesn’t enter the apartment without covering his eyes and yelling. “Is Jaebum there?!” before looking. Youngjae swears that one day he’ll just let him trip over something.

 

Youngjae also gets constant updates about how far Jinyoung has made it in his pursuit, but he gets them from two different sources and they sound suspiciously different. “Jinyoung asked Yugyeom to sleep over at his place and he agreed.” Jaebum tells him. “Sounds like a High score to me.” He adds with a tease.

“He asked me to sleep at his place this weekend so we can Netflix and Chill” Yugyeom tells happily over the coffee table. Bam Bam makes a gagging sound. “You do know what that means, right Baby-Gyeom?” He asks. Yugyeom rolls his eyes, but it does not distract from the way he blushes. “Of course I do!” He insists. “I’m just playing oblivious to Jinyoung-Hyung. He’s so cute when he’s getting frustrated.” He stares away into the distance for a moment, dreamy look on his face, before he pulls himself back. “Oh and I need you to take Jaebum for the weekend.” He casually directs at Youngjae before he digs his spoon back into his ice cream.

Youngjae sputters. “What?” It sounds like shared custody if phrased like that. Yugyeom frowns. “I can’t have him there, you know they’re roommates right?” Youngjae ducks away.

 

“I’m sorry Jinyoung is kicking you out.” He later tells Jaebum over the phone, who doesn’t sound particularly crushed by those news and “Of course you can crash here. We can order food and play videogames?” ”Sounds lovely.”

 

They do play some games, but the downside of that is, that it keeps your hands and arms busy and without them you can’t cuddle. Also, Jaebum is really bad at it and while he bravely laughs it off, Youngjae feels that his competitive nature makes it hard on him. So he lets him off the hook and they switch the Xbox for some more couple-appropriate entertainment, such as watching movies.

“Youngjae?” Jaebum asks quietly while he rubs up and down the side of his neck. Youngjae’s eyes have long fallen shut, not giving a damn about the drama playing, instead relishing in the gentle massage, the rough pads of Jaebum’s fingers tracing the end of his skull und down to where his neck meets his shoulders. “Hmh?” he makes, pressing himself closer as a sign that he’s listening.

“I know it’s… early. But, uhm…” Jaebum mumbles timidly. “Would you like to have sex?” Youngjae’s eyes flutter open. The way he’s tucked into Jaebum’s side only lets him see his chest and arm and knees. He would like to look him in the face, decipher what he’s thinking, but he’s too afraid he’d stop rubbing his skin, so he stays. Does he?

“I don’t know.” He eventually answers, slowly, to underline what he just said. Jaebum exhales deeply. “Hh. Okay.” He answers and to Youngjae’s surprise it sounds relieved. He does sit up after all, even though he loses the peaceful touch to his neck, so he can look at him. “What?” tumbles out of his mouth. Jaebum’s lips fall open. “I said okay.” He breathes. “But why does it sound like you’re glad about it?” Jaebum’s eyes grow comically large. “No, I…” He gasps. “I’m just glad you didn’t… you didn’t say ‘No way’ Or something.” He shrinks a little. “Honestly, I don’t know either, I was just…” He takes his arm away from around his shoulders and rubs his palms over his jeans clad thighs. “You just make me nervous.”

Youngjae’s heart takes a leap so big, he feels like it stopped for a moment. He stares and Jaebum stares back, grinding his teeth. “I changed my mind.” Youngjae says mechanically. Unceremoniously he reaches out and palms Jaebum’s crotch, making him tense and sputter. “I do want to have sex.” Jaebum’s fingers tighten around his wrist and he blushes wildly. “Oh my god…” He mutters and Youngjae can feel him shiver. He increases the pressure and as he feels a small twitch under his hand he watches his jaw work and his eyes threaten to fall shut. He never witnessed anyone’s breathing go that heavy that quickly. It has his skin tingle.

“I… isn’t it too soon.” Jaebum stutters, looking at him with half-lidded eyes and parted lips. He’s gorgeous like that. Youngjae has barely spent time thinking about it, if he’s honest. Jaebum, from the first moment on was absolutely breathtaking. Handsome and sweet and lovely. But Youngjae was entirely focused on the emotional part of their relationship. Of course, there were moments, but he feels they were minor, neglectable in the bigger picture. All the focus was on making it work, romantically, not sexually. And Youngjae understood a long time ago that liking someone and being physically attracted are two entirely different things and do not necessarily go hand in hand.

But now they are quite dating. “You were the one who asked.” Youngjae whispers and leans in. Jaebum is eager, when their lips slot together messily. They’ve only kissed like this that one time and never again. Too shy, too careful, too hesitant. But Youngjae pushes his tongue into his mouth now and Jaebum moans in the back of his throat, the sound and the wetness of his tongue having Youngjae’s own cock twitch in interest. He presses down on Jaebum to hear it again and his hips buck against him. Youngjae pulls away, Jaebum’s mouth following him for a bit before his eyes fly open as they disconnect. “Would you like to have sex?” Youngjae murmurs and Jaebum nods with his wide eyes and tinted cheeks and wet chin.

Youngjae jumps to his feet and reaches down to grab Jaebum’s wrists and pull him along. He makes funny noises when he stumbles after him as he marches off to the bedroom. Youngjae stops at the foot end of the bed and turns around, but he walked so fast and stopped so quickly that Jaebum crashes into him, they stumble and fall onto the bed messily. Youngjae shrieks, Jaebum squeals and when they land in a mess of tangled limbs, they both burst into a fit of giggles.

It feels liberating to laugh as Jaebum manages to sit up first and grabs Youngjae under the arms to pull him up the bed until they’re lying comfortably in the middle of it, properly and their laughter slowly dies. Youngjae lies on his back, feeling the grin still tug on the corners of his mouth, but Jaebum props up on his elbow, running his free hand through his hair and down his cheek, following the lines of his face. “You’re so pretty.” He whispers as if he was telling a secret and makes Youngjae’s heart swell. “No, you!” He gives back, pouting a little for good measure, enjoying to watch Jaebum’s eyes crease some more. God, he’s so fucking in love.

Jaebum leans in then, to kiss him and it is so tender and Jaebum’s hand rests against the side of his neck where it’d been earlier on the sofa. Youngjae likes it, he likes the kisses, he wants the tenderness. But he also wants the euphoria. He slips a hand onto Jaebum’s hip, innocently trailing up underneath his Shirt and settling on his waist. There’s a tiny hiccup in his breathing and his mouth presses a notch harder. From such a simple touch.

Maybe though, Youngjae thinks, maybe he underestimated Jaebum’s want. Because he scoots closer, presses into his side and his leg comes up to cling across his lap, whole body tightening against him. Then his own hand travels down Youngjae’s front from his shoulder and mirrors the motion, slipping underneath his sweater. It almost tickles, the way his fingertips lightly caress his stomach, careful but nosy. Youngjae hums into the kiss. It must’ve triggered something in Jaebum, because he makes a strangled noise and in a swift motion rolls on top of him and breaks their kiss. There’s a second where their eyes meet, then he crouches down and, shoving Youngjae’s shirt up, places his wet kissed lips beneath his ribs, replacing his petting fingers. Youngjae’s head falls back with a sigh, encouraging enough so Jaebum pushes his shirt further and trails wet kisses all over his stomach. His hands travel up and down his sides and he makes Youngjae’s breath hitch when he places his warm lips right above the waistbands of his sweatpants. Not just that. Wet and hot he darts his tongue out to lick a sticky stripe all along the trim.

Youngjae looks down at him when he departs and finds him looking up. He shudders. His eyes are wide and dark, pupils blown and he looks so… “Can I undress you?” Jaebum asks breathily, making Youngjae’s heart swell with the innocence and consideration while he nods. Instead of pulling his pants down though, he comes back up and slips his hands underneath his crumpled shirt, lifting his upper body off the bed to pull it over his head. “Wow” Jaebum breathes as Youngjae falls back recently shirtless. Featherlight fingertips graze over his chest and shoulders. The adoration in Jaebum’s face is overwhelming. It is then that he finally realizes; emotional connection _does_ make a difference.

He stems up to kiss Jaebum, suddenly feeling the urgent need to do so. He wraps his arms around him, slips his fingers under his T-Shirt again, feeling the muscles on his back, tracing his spine with his fingertips. Their kiss is wet and naughty, Jaebum straddling his lap and unsure of where to put his hands. They tangle in his hair and scratch over his naked shoulders. It’s when their lips part and Youngjae presses his own onto Jaebum’s neck to suck on his skin that he breathes a heavy sigh and Youngjae realizes that the hardness that presses against his abdomen is Jaebum’s member.

With a satisfied grunt he rips the shirt off over his head quite messily, not giving himself enough time to admire the naked skin before latching back onto his neck, sucking on the flesh. “Youngjae…” Jaebum murmurs, body pressing into him rhythmically. He falls forward, pushing Youngjae back into the sheets and mirrors him, licking under his jaw and nibbling at his throat. And he finds a purpose for his hands again, moving them down his sides and lower until they find his waistband. This time he doesn’t ask, he just detaches to look him in the eyes and Youngjae nods. Then he’s gone.

Surprisingly swift he slides down, fingers digging into his pants and pulls them down. His half hard length is uncovered unceremoniously, earning him a curse. Youngjae does not wear underpants underneath comfort-clothing on purpose. It’s right there in the name. “Fuck, Youngjae.” Jaebum repeats, but manages to get his sweats off without disruption anyways. His palms place on his naked shins, moving along as he crawls back up, ever so slowly, eyes glinting while Youngjae watches from his pillows. Jaebum presses his lips to one of his knees once, then onto his thigh, then a bit higher.

Youngjae’s breathing labors, he’s no longer semi, he’s just hard. He sits up, because Jaebum is too far away and drives a hand into his hair, causing him to look up from the place somewhere at his mid-thigh that he’d been busy kissing. So so naughty. But he leaves there, instead leans forward and places kisses on his belly again, up his chest and under his chin. “I will do my best, Youngjae.” He promises, which almost makes him giggle. “I haven’t… I’ve only had done it with girls, but I will do my best, so we can experience this together, okay?” Jaebum asks and settles on his lap again, closely, until their lower bodies are pressing together, a dark cloud passing through his eyes.

Youngjae smiles as reassuringly as he can. “It’s okay.” He whispers and strokes through his hair, which is as soft as he always imagined when he wasn’t allowed to touch it and now is certain he’ll never grow tired of. “You’ll be okay.” He promises, pecking his lips. Jaebum nods, pecking back. “And you’ll be okay, too.” He gives back. Youngjae swoons over the cuteness. “Of course I will.” He reassures, sensing the insecurity. “I’ve never been with a girl, but I imagine it can’t be vastly different… As long as you remember the most important thing. That you’re being with a person. And you do.” He rubs his thumbs along Jaebum’s cheekbones. “You’re so considerate and sweet.”

Jaebum’s lips part, he looks at him confused. “Youngjae…” He whispers. “That sounds like you… have you before?” Youngjae blinks in confusion. “Uh… yes?” He answers. “With a guy that is. Yes.” Jaebum’s eyes grow three sizes. “But…” He makes, sinking back onto his knees. “You said you never liked a boy before. ?” Only then Youngjae grasps the situation. “Oh.” He makes and bites his bottom lip. A sudden rush of embarrassment has his cheeks feel warmer than before. “I… I really haven’t.” He admits. “But, uhm… I could have sex, right? Just, never liked someone.” He wonders if Jaebum will judge him for that. He is so pure and sentimental. Would he grasp the idea of having sex with no feelings involved?

He doesn’t seem to, the way his posture deflates. Disappointment crawls onto his face and it has Youngjae’s heart sink. “So, you’ve actually had… sex with a man?” Jaebum asks strangely high-pitched. Youngjae, discouraged and uncomfortable is so close to getting defensive. But then Jaebum says a strange thing. “And I haven’t?!” Youngjae blinks. “Huh?”

“Oh my god.” Jaebum mumbles, pulling a face. “Youngjae I was just so confident enough because I thought you had no experience at all! I was just pretending. Youngjae.” He grabs his shoulders as if he wanted to shake him. “I don’t know what I’m doing!” Youngjae huffs out half a laugh by accident. “Shush.” He says, placing his hand on Jaebum’s still clothed thigh. “Is that what’s bothering you?” Jaebum grinds his teeth. “It’s not funny.” He complains. “I thought I could touch you like a girl, because well, what would _you_ know. How can I… when you already know what it’s like?”

“Hey.” Youngjae reaches up to crawl his fingers into his hair soothingly. “Why does this worry you so much? And why would you touch me any differently? I’m still a human being remember?” Jaebum shakes his head. “You’re not. A girl, I would touch her breasts, but you don’t have any and I know her… you know, down there, but I don’t even want to touch your…” He looks down between them. Youngjae never thought that of all things, this would be the issue.

“Stupid.” He mumbles endeared. “Why do I have to be the one that has no experience? Do you think I should have complained that I don’t know what to do?” Jaebum pouts. He literally pouts. “No, I would have shown you. I thought I could teach you.” With a frown, Youngjae pulls at a strand of his hair until he squeaks in pain. “And why can’t I teach you now?” He asks. “Why does this change how we can experience this together?”

Jaebum’s brain is visibly working until his face lights up. “Uh, would you? I mean… you wouldn’t mind?” It has Youngjae heave a big big sigh. “Of course not.” He soothes the patch of his scalp that he’d been pulling. “If you’re unsure, I will walk you through it.” Jaebum leans forward, pushes his arms out of the way and nuzzles into a hug, nodding against the side of his head. “And if I do something wrong?”

“Oh Jesus.” Youngjae mutters, but he feels a smile tug at the corners of his lips. “What if _I_ do something wrong? I don’t even have an excuse.” He feels Jaebum’s chest twitch as he chuckles. “Right.” He whispers, then quietly adds. “I’m sorry.” Youngjae strokes his back. “What for? You haven’t done anything wrong.” Jaebum hums. “For being so complicated. You just make me nervous.” Youngjae tightens his hold as his heart swells some more. “You make me happy.” He answers, as cheesy as it is, Jaebum should know it, he thinks. Though he can’t interpret the sound that he makes, he books it a success.

Tugging his legs out from underneath him, Youngjae gently guides Jaebum backwards and slides him into the sheets. He looks soft with his tousled hair and big eyes and so vulnerable. Youngjae leans down and kisses and while Jaebum’s palms trace his arms he kisses some more. Slipping off his lips he mouthes down his chin and throat, licking along his collarbones and presses wet kisses on his sternum. From there he pauses and looks up for a moment. “You _can_ touch a boy’s chest you know.” He whispers with a tiny smirk and wraps his lips around one of the perky brown nipples. Jaebum gasps and his hips buck, the intense reaction startling Youngjae, but having the blood shoot straight to his groin nonetheless.

When he sucks the nub into his mouth Jaebum’s hands scramble up and tangle in his hair, one gasp followed by another until he breathes out a soundless “Wow.” Wow indeed, Youngjae finds, rubbing an exploiting hand down his sides and stomach while he licks and flicks the nipple. Finding Jaebum’s waistband he slips his fingers underneath it and inside the boxers to gently curl around his length. Jaebum’s in return dig into his scalp and he moans, loud and clear. The sound chases a flash of arousal through Youngjae’s body and makes his cock twitch impatiently.

“Oh fuck, Youngjae…” Jaebum chokes out, beautifully messed up. Jaebum feels _good_ in his hand and he lets him know. “You’re so big.” He murmurs between flicks of his tongue, feels Jaebum’s hips buck into his hand and moves over to tease the other nipple. “Feels so good, Youngjae-ah…” Jaebum gasps, as he begins jerking him in a steady rhythm. He feels his body twist and churn underneath, feels him shudder when he grazes his teeth over the tender skin and adding more pressure to the actions of his hands. Jaebum gasps and whispers soundless ‘Oh Gods.’ Another moan, deep and loud, then he tugs at his hair and breathes out “Wait.” Youngjae’s head pipes up, finding Jaebum’s eyes as his hand stills. “What?” He asks surprised. “Is this not okay?” Jaebum blinks rapidly. “No! Yes. It’s good, I…” He averts his gaze and mumbles. “I was about to come.” It’s fucking adorable how visibly embarrassed he is, though maybe it was a bad idea of Youngjae to chuckle, judging by how his face falls.

He retrieves his hand from his pants and instead takes Jaebum by the jaw to turn him to face him gently. “Hey, that’s the point.” He presses a sweet kiss to his lips. “What would sex be without orgasms?” He smiles as reassuringly as possible. Jaebum gasps, obnoxiously, not horny and scolds. “But not yet!” Youngjae can’t hold the giggle, but he still nods and scoots away to finally take off Jaebum’s sweatpants. He looks just as edible as he felt, thick and hard and wet at the tip. Youngjae’s mouth waters from the view alone and the thought of swallowing that gorgeous piece of flesh down his throat.

Jaebum groans softly when he’s freed, lifting his hips to make it easier to be undressed. Youngjae mouthes up his thighs just like he had and just like him he licks up his hipbones, avoiding the obvious until he places his lips beneath his navel, ignoring how the erection nudges against his face. From there he darts his eyes up. “Have you ever had a Blowjob from one of your girls?” Jaebum takes a shaky breath and nods. Youngjae is almost disappointed. “But…” Jaebum sits up underneath him. The closeness lets him see the blown pupils and shiny sheen of sweat on his forehead, dark strands of hair clinging to his skin. “But… should we not…” His breath staggers while Youngjae looks up to him questioningly. “Move on?”

Youngjae follows into a sitting position, knees beside Jaebum’s thighs until they’re face to face. “What do you mean?” He questions curiously. Jaebum presses his lips together before he speaks, slowly, with an undertone of frustration. “Youngjae… I can only hold out so long. Can we please get to the point?” Youngjae tilts his head thoughtfully, leaning a bit closer. “What’s the point, Hyung?” Jaebum whines. “Can we not… Are we not… Aren’t we gonna go all the way?” He chokes on his words, eyes pleading.

“All the w…” Youngjae breaks off in the middle of his sentence as it almost audibly clicks in his brain. “Oh…” He huffs, closing his eyes for a moment and falls forward into Jaebum’s arms, slinging his own around his shoulders and settling his chin against his collarbone. “Oh Hyung.” He sighs. “Jaebummie.” He adds. “All the way, oh, really, oh.” He shakes his head against his skin. “You’re so miserably straight.”

Jaebum sputters. “W…what?” Grabbing his face left and right, Youngjae looks him in the eyes. “Sex does not have to be penetrative. You know that, right?” He watches Jaebum shudder visibly and close his eyes for a moment. “Yes. Yes, of course.” He mumbles. “But uhm… Uhm, the first time shouldn’t we…? I mean we can try other things later and…” He shrugs helplessly. Youngjae shakes his head. “No, it’s the other way around.” He softly explains. “Wouldn’t you think it was better to first get to know each other, get a feel for one another and learn about the other’s body _before_ we go there?” He watches Jaebum blink rapidly and then shrug once more. Youngjae shows him a gentle smile. “We can try out all the things you want, but I wasn’t going to, as you call it, go all the way just yet.”

Jaebum casts his gaze down defeated. “Hey.” Youngjae draws his thumb over his cheekbone und ducks down to find his eyes. “Hyung, what’s the matter?” He keeps his voice low and soft. “I’m scared.” Jaebum breathes out quietly, earning him a fond smile. “I understand.” Youngjae soothes. “That’s why we’ll take it slow.” To his surprise Jaebum shuts his eyes tightly and shakes his head. “No, I want it over with.” He gives back surprisingly sturdy. “I’m so scared, I’d rather it happen sooner than later or I’ll continue to be.” His eyes are pleading when he opens them back up, leaving Youngjae dumbfounded and hurting. “You shouldn’t be scared.” He answers quietly. “But if that’s what you really want.” He trails off until Jaebum nods, eyes wide with surprise.

Jaebum certainly has some strange trains of thoughts, Youngjae thinks when he slots their lips together, kissing him deeply while also pushing his hips down onto his crotch until he tears away gasping. “Youngjae…” He pleads quietly. “Okay okay.” Youngjae whispers and leans over to the nightstand, searching through the drawer and retrieving lube and condoms, not missing the way Jaebum’s finger tense around his waist. Pouring some of the lube onto the fingers of his right hand, he goes over to kissing Jaebum’s cheeks and jaw whose breath staggers mildly as he quietly whispers “Will it hurt?”

Youngjae detaches and deeply looks into his eyes, bringing his lubed up hand behind his back and reaching between his cheeks to spread the wetness around his rim. Then he shakes his head. “I promise.” He murmurs gently. “It won’t hurt.” He presses two fingers into his hole, gasping and latching onto Jaebum’s lips for a few wet kisses. “Just relax, okay?” He asks between them, rubbing his erection against his stomach as he fingers himself open quickly.

Retrieving his hand he eventually pushes Jaebum back to lie down after one last kiss and scoots back on his thighs. He reaches for one of the foil packages he dropped onto the mattress and rips it open. Jaebum is chewing on his kiss-swollen bottom lip, visibly nervous and Youngjae can’t help cracking a smirk. It’s only when he takes the rubber out of the package and firmly grips Jaebum’s length that he sees his eyes widen. It’s cute, the way he stares up in confusion and disbelief when Youngjae rolls the condom down his length and reaches for the lube once more.

He shushes him, when the chewed up lip pops out between his teeth and his mouth opens, lathering an abundant amount of cool, sticky lube over his erection. Kneeling up and bracing his free hand on Jaebum’s stomach he whispers. “I said it won’t hurt.” Guiding the wonderfully thick hard cock against his entrance. “Youngjae…” Jaebum whines softly, eyes wandering down his body, chest heaving under Youngjae’s palm. “Yes?” He asks, feeling his hole stretch over the tip of Jaebum’s length as he sinks down slowly. The dull, throbbing pain is wonderfully familiar, but Jaebum stretches him even further than he is used to and his eyes fall shut, while his muscles tense and his nails scratch fruitlessly over Jaebum’s stomach.

“Oh my god…” He hears his breathless voice through the fog in his mind as he sinks and sinks, his body accommodating to the intrusion easily, the glide slick and wet. “Oh my god…” Jaebum repeats, followed by a low whimper and his fingertips dig into Youngjae’s thighs, abs flexing under his scrambling hand. Youngjae goes as far as his insides will allow him and puffs out a heavy breath, tearing his eyes back open. He feels his entrance twitch and clench around the girth and he finds Jaebum’s eyes. They’re clouded and wide open, lips parted, he looks like a complete mess. There’s a slight frown between his brows, like exhausting concentration and as their gazes meet, another low whine pearls off his lips. Youngjae’s own cock twitches, he places his still lube-smeared hand on Jaebum’s lying on his thigh, soothingly rubbing a slick thumb over the back of it.

He feels full. While he stares down, labored breath and allows his hole to loosen up around Jaebum, he feels entirely and perfectly full. Physically, but also emotionally and he’s never felt like it before, thinks he can find the adoration and pleasure in Jaebum’s face. “Are you alright.” He croaks and is shocked about how broken his voice sounds. Jaebum whimpers and motions something resembling a nod.

Youngjae lifts himself up, just barely, vividly aware of how Jaebum drags along his sensitive entrance and he moans softly over the sensation, giving himself only so much room before he sinks back down in the same manner, pulling a small groan from Jaebum in return. He doesn’t pause before he repeats the motion, already addicted to the sensation, the itchy friction to his entrance and he sighs deeply over it as he brings his bottom down again.

He eyes Jaebum’s face, watches it twist and change, observes the effect he has on him and his chest swells with it. “Is it like a girl?” He asks teasingly when he lifts himself up further to push back. Jaebum spills crooked sounds while his head desperately flies left and right. Voice tight as he relishes in the wonderful way Jaebum’s length rubs against his insides when he allows him to slip further, he gasps “Tell me how it feels.” Jaebum’s mouth falls open and spills curses. He moans a deep “Fuck!” when Youngjae squeezes his muscles around him. It’s gorgeous.

“Good.” He chokes out, pathetically weak and Youngjae thinks it’s really cute, lifting his hips further up to push down again. He gives it a few times, adding more pressure until finally they bottom out, his butt resting flush on Jaebum’s hip. He allows his head to fall back and moans deeply in pleasure, feeling Jaebum so perfectly settled inside of him, filling him entirely. “Oh god…” Jaebum whimpers quietly, body twisting beneath him, the tiny motions adding pressure against Youngjae’s walls until he moans again.

He doesn’t rest, even though he feels like he could, just sit there and have Jaebum’s length fill him up, but he doesn’t. He works his hips up and down again, delicious friction at his hole, especially with the way Jaebum bucks and shudders, the arrhythmic motions punching sounds of pleasure from their guts. “Better…” Jaebum eventually exhales in a shuddered breath. “Better than a girl.” A smile tugs on Youngjae’s lips, but he has no time to dwell on it, already feeling his thighs burn. He leans back, grabbing for leverage on Jaebum’s leg and as he thrusts his bottom down finally has his cock nudge against his prostate, the dull throbbing pleasure shaking his body.

“Fuck yes.” He growls under his breath, rocks his hips again and feels his muscles tense from the sparks of lust that have his cock twitch. He needs more of it, already addicted and jams his bottom down in the same manner, breath ragged and teeth clenched tightly. Jaebum is so big, reaches so deep it’s almost painful, but the drag against his sweetest spot drowns it all out, has his mind float. It doesn’t seem enough each time, so he lifts himself up higher, slamming his hips down with more force to get just a little more of it and he thinks he’s making the lewdest noises, but he can’t tell for sure, because he also thinks his eyes have fallen shut.

That is, until Jaebum makes a sound as if he’s choking on his tongue and to Youngjae’s surprise, when his eyes flutter open, suddenly he’s is right there and a strong arm snakes around his waist. Youngjae slings his own around his shoulders as on instinct and as if it was involuntarily, their chests bump into another and finally their lips crash together. It robs him of the freedom to properly bounce on that cock, but he rolls his hips nonetheless and Jaebum whimpers against his lips and they gasp into each other’s mouths. It’s so intimate and so hot and wet, Youngjae positively thinks he’s losing his mind.

His aching cock is squashed between them and Jaebum his pulling him even closer, tightening the space with his hand on the small of his back, pushing him down and rocking his hips up subtly. The length of his cock presses and drags at his prostate and it’s driving him wild, but it’s just _not enough_. He tears his mouth away from Jaebum’s prodding tongue, moaning when he instead presses it right against the side of his neck, licking and biting the skin in unbearable heat. “Jaebum.” He moans and Jaebum cries out softly at his ear, his hips bucking, rocking into his depths. “Oh god.” Youngjae breathes. He takes his hand off of his thigh, wraps both around Jaebum’s face and brings it before his own so he can look at him properly.

The universe sits in his eyes right then, deep and wide and pitch-black, like he’s life itself and yet not really there. They’re sparkling wet, attentive yet zoomed out to infinity. “Jaebum.” He repeats, because he can’t not. His muscles are burning, his skin itching and his lungs feel like they haven’t gotten enough oxygen for weeks. “Will you fuck me?” A crooked whine pearls off the glistening lips and against his own skin he feels the strong body tighten. Absent, dazed, Jaebum nods.

Youngjae, with a sort of frustrated groan climbs off him, hissing when Jaebum’s length slips out all the way, then he throws himself down on his belly ungracefully, a soothing relief for his strained muscles. He shouldn’t have skipped dance practice that often, when his thighs are jelly already. Jaebum is onto him in a second. His arms cage him in, left and right of his shoulders while his wet, puffy lips press between his blades. His sticky length nudges against his cheeks obnoxiously and Youngjae knows the sheets will need changing after they’re done.

He pulls his face out from the pillow and places it sideways. “Add more lube.” He orders, crooked beyond measures and while huffing in frustration, Jaebum complies, sitting up and lathering himself in another, thicker, wetter coat of it. Youngjae spreads his knees apart, just so, just enough to give him some room and he hears a soft whine. As a strong, lube-smeared hand grips onto his hip, Jaebum chokes out something that sounds like. “So hot.” And then something that might be his name. He answers with his own indefinite sound, arching his back and encouragingly sticking his butt out, feeling his hole flutter in the cool air, desperate to be filled.

Jaebum fumbles a little, he feels his cock press into his rim, nudge his twitching entrance before he manages to push past it, even though it’s so loose by now he slides in with ease. Youngjae can’t help the happy moan escaping him. He arches into the mattress, his neglected cock pressing into the soft sheets is a blessing when Jaebum fills him up just perfect. Youngjae can see him from the corner of his eye, all sweaty and dazed when he comes down again, arms next to his chest to hover above him. “Youngjae…” He mumbles and rocks his hips gently, making both of them moan, their noises tangling and mixing together beautifully.

Youngjae is in heaven. Not only does Jaebum feel good inside him, he sounds good, too, making it known shamelessly how much he’s enjoying it. It makes him comfortable to hear that he’s appreciated, that he doesn’t need to feel cheap or used and damn. Maybe Yugyeom was doing the right thing waiting for Mr Right instead of doing it with random guys, because this is just a million times better than anything he’s had before. Or, he thinks, maybe Jaebum is just a natural, working his hips in slow, but powerful long strokes. It’s just right, just how he likes it, having his cock rub between his cheeks, graze along his prostate and to be fair, the friction against his member helps.

Jaebum falls down onto his forearms, gasping desperately into his ear, close enough that Youngjae can feel his wet breath. “Can I…” He breathes out between his panting and Youngjae answers “Yes.” Immediately, without waiting for him to finish talking. Which he should have done, because what he thought he was asking is ‘Can I come?’ and Youngjae really wants him to get the most out of this, doesn’t want to burden him with performance issues. What he seemed to have actually wanted to ask is ‘Can I go faster?’, because as soon as he has Youngjae’s approval, he adjusts his position and snaps his hips harshly. Once, twice, while shallower than before, so much faster.

Youngjae cries out in pleasure, fingers gripping the sheets tightly as he tries to adjust, Jaebum’s front slapping against his cheeks in rapid succession, crushing his insides in the best way possible, the kind that would be terribly painful if he weren’t so incredibly turned on. It’s overwhelming and he doesn’t seem to be alone with that feeling if the crooked whimpering against his ear is anything to go by. It’s fascinating how a single person can fuck so well, so hard and wild and at the same time be so so overburdened with it.

Jaebum’s thrusting is wild, but precise, it punches the breath from Youngjae’s lungs and has him moan relentlessly. His mind goes dizzy with pleasure, Jaebum’s perfect cock hitting his prostate dead on, his thickness stretching him open while every single motion pushes him into the mattress and  forward to drag his own aching erection over the sheets in the best way possible. Maybe this position was a bad idea, he thinks, clutching the blanket in a blissful daze, with Jaebum’s rough panting right against his ear and the way he is just stimulated all around. He is so gonna come and it’s gonna be soon.

“Youngjae…” Jaebum wails behind his ear and Youngjae’s body shudders in pleasure. “Fuck.” He breathes out, face pressed into the pillow and he feels Jaebum’s hips stutter, thank god, as he moans and thrusts and moans and thrusts and Youngjae’s skin is burning and his stomach is curling around the pressure of lust. “C..coming.” He manages to choke out and within a blink his world explodes in bliss.

He barely witnesses what’s happening, when his muscles go taught, when his entrance clenches down on its intruder, when his guts tighten and his vision fades. It’s all white noise and sparkles and it’s everywhere. Not just his twitching cock spurting white into the sheets, his whole body is shaking with the force of his orgasm, his skin tingling and it certainly, absolutely is the best he’s ever had. Distantly, while he’s riding his high, he hears Jaebum’s overwhelmed whimpering as he’s guiding him through it, pouncing into his butt, prodding relentlessly at his oversensitive prostate. As the pleasure starts to fade and the dizziness wears off, he notices the sloppiness in it, hard but messy and it’s just when it’s about to be too, breaching the border of overstimulation and Youngjae’s hole tenses tightly for the oncoming discomfort that Jaebum thrusts into him one last time, burying in his depths with a desperate cry. Youngjae can feel his cock pulsing as he comes and he groans weakly, listening, feeling, he would watch if he could.

The tightness of Jaebum’s body vanishes in an instant. One moment he’s hard and tense and suddenly he goes limp, strength fading and he sinks down on Youngjae’s back with a deep, heavy sigh and muscles like jelly. Youngjae huffs as the weight pushes him down, but it’s not too bad. In a strange way it feels nice, the physical equivalent to the emotional weight of what they’ve just done. Their first time, their first shared orgasm and it was absolutely amazing and Youngjae feels a little dazed. And sleepy.

Neither of them does anything more than breathing for a while. But it is Jaebum who stirs first. “Wow.” He mumbles into the back of Youngjae’s neck. “Just… wow.” Youngjae puffs out air in somewhat of a chuckle. He agrees, but it’s so Jaebum to just say it out loud. “That was good. So good.” He keeps talking and the more he says the more it becomes evident how slurred his words are and it’s then that Youngjae fears that he might falls asleep on top of him.

He clears his throat. “Can you get off me?” He asks airless. “Nuh-uh.” Jaebum makes and somehow manages to make himself heavier. Youngjae groans. “You’re still in me!” He scolds, but it comes out weak. He feels Jaebum’s face rub against his skin when he nods. “Yeah.” He mutters. “Feels nice. Good.” Youngjae would laugh if he could, but there’s not enough air in his lungs for that. “Get off now, or I’ll never let you do that again.” He threatens and can’t follow how quickly Jaebum rolls off him. He hisses over the rash motion that he pulls out of him and he turns over and slaps him on the chest. “Careful with that.” He pouts.

Finally they can look at each other and Youngjae feels like he hasn’t seen Jaebum’s face in week. His cheeks are dusted red, his eyes glazed and his bangs sweat-soaked. He’s cute and hot at the same time, however he manages to do that. “Sorry.” He whispers and Youngjae hears and feels that he means it, so he smiles. “Okay.” He leans over to steal a kiss, just a quick peck, but Jaebum has other plans. He grabs him and pulls him in, nudges his tongue between his teeth. It’s a slow, deep kiss, intimate and comfortable.

When they part, Youngjae stays close, so much that he almost goes cross-eyed looking at him. “That was wonderful.” He confesses and cards his fingers through Jaebum’s hair, rubbing his scalp and petting his cheeks. “You were great.” He receives a hazy, beaming smile. Jaebum is needy, wraps fully around him, seeming to have more limbs than a normal human with the way he holds onto him. He’s almost asleep, his voice sleep-ridden, he mumbles. “Can I keep you?” Then he’s out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys. I love virgin Jaebum so much. Just so, so much. Isn't he adorable as frick?  
> Now Youngjae is taking the reigns in this relationship because he's cool. You go girl!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew. I did it!!  
> Was this chapter necessary? No. Does it add to the overall context of the story? Uhmmm barely.  
> Have I wanted to write this for reasons and then stuff it in a fic? Hell yes. I wrote this, or chunks of it very early on, before I knew how the fic would progress in the end. Dunno. I think I brought enough closure to let it count as a chapter?
> 
> It sliiiightly differs from my usual smut. It's very subtle, let's see if anyone notices ;P Hf chicks.

“So?” Bam Bam asks with raised brows while Youngjae devours his burger. After skipping so often, the dancing had been way more exhausting than he remembered. “What?” He makes, muffled from a mouthful of beef and bread. “Well, how was it?” In contrast to his words, what Bam Bam is saying with the tone of his voice is “Why do I have to ask this?” Youngjae swallows. “Bam, you’re straight.” He answers. “Do you really want to know about my very gay sex life?”

Bam Bam looks at him like he’s a lunatic. “Ew, no?!” He says obnoxiously pulling a face. “Not at fucking all. I just want you to spill the juiciest details so Gyeomie chokes on his fries.” The pained yell he follows up with stems from fry-munching-Yugyeom kicking his shin under the table. Youngjae shakes his head in disbelief. “Have you had sex yet, Gyeom-ah?” Bam Bam recovers quite quickly when he needs to tease someone. Yugyeom doesn’t choke on his fries, but he goes beet red and takes a big sip from his coke. “Ohhh, have you?” Pulling at his arm, Bam Bam’s eyes grow wide. “Our little baby finally lost his virginity?!”

While pretending to be unaffected, Youngjae is actually quite curious and also quite happy that the focus shifted away from him, so he doesn’t get involved. Yugyeom tears out of his friend’s grip and shakes his head in a small motion. Bam Bam falls back into his seat disappointed. “Awww man.” He makes and steals a handful of fries. “Well.” Youngjae suggests fakedly casual. “You could try again this weekend.”

It’s just fair that they switch places this time around. Jaebum and Jinyoung are old men and they have no knowledge of what a gaming console even is. Youngjae whines about it and Jinyoung does too, because apparently he doesn’t have the slightest desire to play videogames with Yugyeom. Yugyeom, though, is absolutely astounded when Youngjae mentions this to him. “No, he said he’s looking forward to it!” He answers, pouting. Youngjae carries this information over to Jaebum, who sighs and patronizingly pats Youngjae’s head. “Have you still not understood how Jinyoung works?” He asks pityingly. “Of course he would say that.”

“To get into your pants Gyeom-ah.” Bam Bam explains over the lunch table on Friday. Yugyeom is not amused. When he gets up he mutters something along the lines of “Hasn’t he lied to me enough.” Youngjae feels awkward. He thinks something is majorly off. Wasn’t Yugyeom the one who was barely bothered and told Youngjae to forget about it all? Bam Bam punches him in the shoulder. “You do know that you can’t keep doing this, right?” He asks and sighs over Youngjae’s confused stare. “You can’t keep talking about them all the time. You and your boyfriend gossiping about him and Jinyoung? That’s messed up.” The words almost get lost somewhere in the tangles of Youngjae’s brain. He really needs to focus to make sense of it. “If I didn’t know you, Hyung, I would assume you’re somehow trying to get back at Yugyeom.” Youngjae ducks his head. He isn’t, is he?

Bam Bam sighs. “Look.” He says in the tone of voice that mimics teaching a toddler how to use a spoon. “Yugyeom didn’t not tell you about that thing to hurt you or because he didn’t care. He just wanted to give your now hubby the chance to come clean to you himself. You can forgive your friend, but if Yugyeom had told you, you think there is any chance you’d have hooked up with that guy in the end?” Youngjae studies the greasy tabletop and eventually shakes his head. He probably would have never again spoken a word to Jaebum. “Don’t be unfair to Gyeomie, by behaving like a chick. You know this whole gossiping stuff, that’s so  _girl_ . And you remember that even when  _you’re_ gay,  _I’m_ still the queen!” Youngjae facepalms hard. If bam Bam has the talent to speak out uncomfortable truths, he’s even more talented to lighten the mood that goes with it. “There are secrets that couples have and secrets that best friends have. If you want this to work out you should respect those boundaries. Or someone will end up hurt.”

Youngjae remembers his words later that evening on the sofa in Jaebum and Jinyoung’s apartment, when Jaebum giggles about how ridiculously eager and impatient Jinyoung is to get his hands on Yugyeom’s dick. He opens his mouth to answer, that there’s no way Jinyoung has any chance of getting laid this weekend with how mad Yugyeom is, but he swallows it. And he wonders if Jaebum and Jinyoung talk about him like that, too. And if Jinyoung and Yugyeom talk about him and about Jaebum. He doesn’t notice that he’s frowning until Jaebum draws him from his thoughts. “What’s wrong?”

Youngjae sits up and looks at him. “We shouldn’t be doing that.” He explains and earns a confused glare. “Play this weird game of telephone, where we’re passing messages through to one another without asking.” He elaborates and watches Jaebum’s mouth fall open. “We all started our relationships on secrets and lies and I don’t think secretly talking about the others is gonna make it better.” He adds, serious tone and all. Jaebum bites down on his bottom lip in shame and apparently can’t nod quickly enough. “You’re right.” He says, voice crooked. “Yeah… right.” Youngjae presses a soft kiss to his lips. He wonders if Jaebum sees it the same way or if he’s just willing to agree, because Youngjae still has “points” up ahead. “We should learn to communicate with each other first.” He adds, pressuring Jaebum a little, watching his lips form a pout while he nods. It’s funny to think how much younger, yet smarter Bam Bam is than him. He decides to keep the part where it wasn’t his own thoughts to himself. Still, despite all, Youngjae wonders who of them will know it first when Jinyoung finally scores.

  


 

“You brought pajamas?” Jaebum asks aghast, half out of his shirt when he sees Youngjae walk out of the bathroom in one of his oldest, loosest T-Shirts with a faded elephant-print. He looks down on himself. “Yeah. Of course?” He gives back while plugging in his phone, placing it on the nightstand. When he turns back around he’s met with Jaebum’s nude backside, putting away his clothes. “Should I have worn yours?” He keeps asking, eyes fixated on the plush swell of his ass and only tears his gaze away when Jaebum turns towards him. “Well, you’d be out of luck, because I don’t have any.” He lifts the blanket and proceeds to climb in. “I always sleep naked.”

Youngjae isn’t really all that tired yet, but since Jaebum seems to be, he doesn’t mind. He was being so cute, who could resist going to bed with him straight away. Youngjae crawls under the blanket and snoops in to him, snuggling into his chest. “Goodnight gorgeous.” He murmurs and presses a few kisses under Jaebum’s chin, the highest place he can reach. Jaebum huffs. “Goodnight?” He repeats irritated. Youngjae lifts his head. “What?” He asks and finds his eyes in the dim light of the bedside lamp. Jaebum looks at him like he’s an alien. “A… are you tired?” He stammers, making Youngjae frown lightly. “No… I thought  _you_ were.” He explains incredulously. “You asked to go to bed about twenty times.” Jaebum scolds him with his eyes. “Yeah!” He says sarcastically. “Go to bed. As in: Go to  _bed_ .” The accentuation is questionable at best, but in Youngjae’s head it still clicks. “Ohhhhh.”

“Yeah, Oh!” Jaebum sticks his bottom lip out like he only does when he’s trying to be extra cute. It makes Youngjae giggle. “I get it.” He laughs and pecks a kiss. “I’m sorry, I get it.” He snatches the pouty lip between his teeth and tugs lightly witnessing first-hand how Jaebum’s eyes cloud over. He folds his arms on his naked chest and props his chin up on it. “I understand. You wanted me to tuck you in first.” Jaebum gasps and then whines obnoxiously. “Youngjaeeeee.”

“Naughty Hyung.” Youngjae whispers, sliding his toes up the skin of his legs. “You were trying to seduce this innocent boy with your naked body, didn’t you? Is that why you’re nude?” Jaebum has had it. He growls, wraps his arms around his back and rolls them over, only stopping when he’s fully on top, his whole weight pressing him into the bed. His face is hovering right above Youngjae’s. “No.” He murmurs deeply. “I always sleep naked.” But he leans down and captures Youngjae’s mouth in a kiss, so the conversation is forgotten.

Youngjae’s obliviousness must have been quite the challenge. Jaebum blanketing him with his whole form allows him to feel the twitching of his muscles and his almost unbearable heat, but also how fast he hardens against his thigh while they kiss deep, yet touch chastely. Only when he is so out of breath that he gets lightheaded, Jaebum breaks away. They’re gasping in synch, but he wastes no time crouching lower to keep kissing his neck, sticky wet tongue darting out to lick along the skin. Youngjae’s eyes close in comfortable arousal and he lets his head fall back. Jaebum’s fingers slip beneath his T-Shirt, stroking up his chest and going straight for his nipple. The sudden touch has him moan softly and Jaebum growls against the skin of his throat.

“Now get that off.” He rumbles, backs away to tug at his shirt. It’s not easy, but with a lot of pulling and twisting he manages to get it over Youngjae’s head and leave him exposed. “You’re so hot.” He mumbles with a sigh, fingers grazing his chest. “How can I not want to have sex all the time.” It’s not pronounced like a question, so Youngjae doesn’t answer, just smiles and allows himself to heat up further, even though it might be a blushing heat.

Jaebum leans back down to him, putting to good use what Youngjae taught him last time and wraps his sinful lips around one of his nipples, sucking it into his hot mouth and dragging his tongue over the sensitive skin. Youngjae’s fingers tangle in his hair while he leaves out appreciative sounds. But Jaebum doesn’t seem to think it is enough, because while he licks and teases his nipple, his fingers scratch down his sides and grip his waistband, pushing it down as far as it will go.

It’s only then as he is freed that Youngjae realizes he’s already fully hard and it’s a blessing to have his erection no longer constrained in his pants. Jaebum detaches for a moment, pulling them down until they’re off, touching his legs, his thighs and stomach and then he’s back at it again, nudging his other nipple with the wet tip of his tongue and Youngjae is left just moaning and gasping, body limp in the sheets. It feels like Jaebum is everywhere, caressing and prodding, shyness nowhere in sight any longer. Youngjae likes his burst of confidence, heat and lust clouding his mind and feeling overwhelmingly admired.

“Youngjae.” Jaebum whispers against his chest, kisses upwards until he reaches his neck again, licking behind his ear. He crawled up to sit on his hips, pushing down onto him and pressing their cocks together wonderfully. “I know …” He mumbles at his ear, biting the lobe in between while they share each other’s heat. “… you want to wait… Or you’re not sure…” Youngjae can’t follow, so when Jaebum detaches to look at him he stares back in confusion. “… if I’m ready, but I am.” Youngjae frowns. Jaebum presses a few wet, open mouthed kisses to his lips, breathing so hard as if he’s climbing a mountain. “Will you please take my virginity this time?”

Youngjae can’t. He would like to. Wants to huff, chuckle. Tell Jaebum that he is certainly not a virgin, tell him that’s not how sex works, but he can’t. Not with the way he looks at him so pleadingly. His pretty face flushed and his parted lips wet and swollen from kissing. So he nods. Jaebum launches at him, smashes their lips together again, licks into his mouth, the feeling so overwhelming that Youngjae moans in his throat as their naked bodies press together tight, all taunted muscles and heat.

He’s gasping when they part for a moment and Youngjae murmurs a breathless “Roll over.” Against the prodding lips, because he thinks he might lose it when he’s stuck down there, held captive by Jaebum’s body that has so much more strength and weight and defined muscle, disabling him from pushing him off. Jaebum does, albeit reluctantly, crawl off him and falls into the sheets face down. “I said roll.” Youngjae chides and now he does chuckle mildly and places a gentle slap onto the delicious looking butt. Jaebum yelps and rolls, turning onto his back obediently.

It’s amazing, to see him lying there and Youngjae mildly wonders how he got so lucky, that such a handsome man wants him of all people. With his soft skin and broad shoulders and perky nipples. And that thick, hard cock curled onto his stomach like a treat. He’s almost overwhelmed with the desire to taste him, finally, but Jaebum, shifting under his lingering gaze reaches out for his face and pulls him down to kiss him again. “Don’t look at me like that.” He complains softly against his lips. “Like what?” Youngjae asks. “Like I want to eat you?” Jaebum huffs and if Youngjae isn’t mistaken, his cheeks dust a faint shade of pink. “Ugh.” He makes, but leaves it at that, threading his fingers through Youngjae’s hair.

Sensing it already, Youngjae encloses his hand in his own palm and smiles as gently as he can. “Don’t worry.” He soothes. “I got you. I’ll be careful.” Jaebum nods and without a sound mouthes a silent ‘Thank you.’

Youngjae intends to lean over to his drawer, only to stop in mid-air and realize that this is, after all, not his bedroom. He blinks down at Jaebum incredulously. “I got my stuff in my nightstand.” Jaebum’s eyes close briefly. “I have…” He answers quietly. “I have everything.” He’s mumbling, a little grumpy. “You know I’ve been sexually active before you, right?” For some reason it has Youngjae grin. It’s just cute. Jaebum gestures and Youngjae pulls open his drawer to find an abundant number of condoms and a sealed bottle of lube.

“Well, you’re optimistic.” He states dryly, a little taken aback and picks what he needs to throw the drawer shut. Jaebum glares up at him, somewhere in the middle between sheepish and shy and it’s cute and he’s chewing on his bottom lip and that’s hot. “Well…” he says slowly, quietly. “I thought… Don’t laugh, but. I thought in a gay relationship… you kind of need twice the amount of condoms, because… well there’s twice the number of dicks.” Of course Youngjae laughs. He drops down onto Jaebum’s body, face pressing into his chest and laughs. The fondness pulls strongly at his heart. “Hey…” Jaebum makes, sulking obnoxiously.

Youngjae slings his leg over him and kneels above his thighs. “You’re so cute.” He chuckles and leans in for a kiss while subtly nudging one of his knees between Jaebum’s, pushing it until there’s enough room for him to sit in between. He notices, despite Youngjae’s efforts to distract him and gasps while his muscles tense. “Hush.” He murmurs and pets the outside of his thigh. “I need some space there.” He explains and gently pushes his legs further apart as he sits back onto his heels. The picture is mind-blowing. He never actually thought how much he would adore the sight of that sturdy, foolish Hyung of his sprawled back into the sheets with his legs open for him.

“God, you’re hot.” Bubbles out of him while he’s busy stroking up and down the thighs, lean muscle covered with tender skin. Jaebum smiles (and blushes), so Youngjae smiles back and he acknowledges Jaebum’s partly successful effort to relax. He picks up the lube, inspecting it further while he tears it open. He already expects it when he squeezes some of it into his hand, but he’s still not very happy with the texture. Some dribbles down into the sheets because it’s too liquid. “What’s wrong?” Jaebum asks, voice small and Youngjae realizes he must have been scowling. He tries a reassuring smile. “Nothing.” He answers. “I’m just not a fan of watery lube.” And because he’s at it already and it feels like a good way to distract his nervous lover while he scoots down between his legs, he keeps going.

“You know if you buy the one that’s specifically for anal use.” He explains. “It’s thicker, more gel-like.” He strokes the inside of Jaebum’s thigh with his free hand. “This one’s a little drippy.”  
“I bought it for my ex.” Jaebum answers, speaking hastily as he’s gripping the sheets. “We didn’t get around to use it - because she broke up with me - I must’ve been a shitty lover - _what are you doing_?!” The last bit comes out in a hiss, just when Youngjae gently presses the pad of his middle finger against his rim. Surprised he looks up, taking his hand back. “You… You specifically asked for this…?” He gives back defensively, not understanding where he went wrong. How could he have misinterpreted Jaebum’s request?

Jaebum’s legs wrap tightly around his hips as if in an effort to close them and hide away. “B…but… with your hand, like.” He fumbles with his own hands in the air. “Hyung.” Youngjae sighs, rubs the skin of his thigh gently again and up to his hips, running his thumb over his hipbone. “I need to prep you.” He explains. “If I don’t do that, I could hurt you.” Jaebum’s mouth falls open and he sucks in a breath. “P…prep?” He asks quietly. Youngjae nods, attempts a smile. “I’ll open you up carefully with my fingers, so I won’t hurt you later. Okay?” He doesn’t make a move yet, so as to give Jaebum the chance to opt out.

He blinks a few times, looks down between them, then he mumbles. “They don’t do that in porn.” Youngjae can’t help it, he laughs. Jaebum, who was so confident, had such an impressive self-esteem when they first met, is insecure because he got his sex ed from porn. “You’re watching the wrong films then.” Youngjae concludes with a grin. “Also, I hate to break it to you, but porn movies are fiction. Not a reflection of reality.” Jaebum pouts, not looking convinced. “You didn’t do that either.” He states, a little whiny. “I mean me… I mean last time, just…”

Youngjae sighs once more. “I did.” He confesses. “Sneakily. I just didn’t want to burden you with that yet, Hyung. It can take some getting used to and I just wanted you to feel good.” Great, now Jaebum is pouting. “Look, if it makes you uncomfortable, we won’t do it. That’s alright.” He emphasizes. “I’m just not going to fuck you raw, so we’ll have to do something else, okay?” Jaebum’s brows knit. “It has to be?” He whines, to which Youngjae nods with the most sincere face he can muster. “Absolutely necessary.”

Finally, after a bit of huffing and sulking, Jaebum eventually gives him a nod. “Okay.” He says and while he eyes Youngjae’s suspicious face he adds. “Okay. Okay? Just do it.” He waves his hand and flops his head back. Youngjae squirts lube on his fingers again, because the watery stuff just wouldn’t stay there and instead drip everywhere and they’re so going to have to change the sheets before sleeping. “If you’re uncomfortable, tell me.” He speaks softly, stroking Jaebum’s tender, heated skin with his free hand as he brings his other between his legs again.

Jaebum stares at the ceiling with a stoic expression when he nudges his middle finger between his cheeks. “Stop behaving like it’s a burden or I’ll stop.” Youngjae scolds him. “It’s supposed to feel good, okay?” He doesn’t really wait for an answer, rubbing the pad of his finger over Jaebum’s waiting hole. He watches him bite down on his bottom lip, just slightly and gives it a moment. Just staying there, massaging the muscles around his entrance and waiting for him to relax. Until he realizes that he could literally wait for a year for that to happen.

He feels Jaebum’s legs tense around him, hears a tiny gasp when he pushes his middle finger in. It’s barely anything, but Jaebum still breathes out a puff of air and his muscles twitch around Youngjae’s finger. It’s amazing. He’s hot and soft around his digit, twitching insanely. Youngjae rubs his stomach. “Still good?” He asks and hears his own voice crack. All Jaebum makes is “Uh”. Youngjae slides his finger in and out gently, watching his face. 

“Relax, please.” He attempts once more and leans forward along with it. It makes the angle awkward and he bends Jaebum’s leg up to his chest along with it, but his eyes flicker towards him for a moment and it encourages Youngjae to lean even closer and snatch his lips in a kiss. It works wonders, Jaebum melting into the sheets in the kiss, responding eagerly. Youngjae seizes the opportunity while he’s distracted and pushes his second finger in with the first. Jaebum gasps against his lips, but instead of pulling away he deepens the kiss, puts more pressure.

Their tongues slides together messily and Youngjae would be lying if he said he didn’t need it just as much. Having Jaebum beneath him like this isn’t anything he ever thought he wanted. But he fucking loves it. It feels so hot, fingering him like that, so tight and wet around him. He pushes in all the way to the knuckle, feeling Jaebum gasp into the kiss. His muscles tense and his eyes glaze over. “Does it hurt?” Youngjae softly asks, voice broken already. He has himself under control, he can go slow, can be patient. But it’s tough. His cock is throbbing where it presses against Jaebum’s thigh, the friction delightful, but not enough.

Jaebum shakes his head unstably. “No…” he mumbles as well. “Feels weird.” It has Youngjae break into a gentle smile. “It’ll go away.” He promises and nudges his fingers a little. He starts carefully sliding them in and out, not much force or pressure, just to get Jaebum used to the sensation. He gasps and sighs in response, but his muscles still twitch, his chest heaves and his fingers dig into the blanket for support. Youngjae leans down to kiss his jaw and nibble on his neck when he curls his fingers inward, receiving an immediate response. Jaebum moans a surprised “Ah.” And his hands fly up to clutch his arms, nails scratching the skin of his biceps.

“Okay, okay, shh.” Youngjae reassures, licks along his throat and mercilessly does it again. Jaebum moans once more, his eyes torn wide open and Youngjae decides to not give him more time, scissoring his fingers, stretching the wet hole as far as it will allow him to, before the strength in his digits is not enough to widen him further. Jaebum chokes, his legs scramble, his nails dig crescent shapes into Youngjae’s flesh. He moans a sound so high-pitched it’s almost a squeal. It would have never come across him that Jaebum could possibly be this responsive and this sensitive. His dick is twitching insanely par the noises, the stretch of his body, every movement of muscle beneath his skin. It’s almost torturous to keep his patience, feeling the carnal urge to just fuck Jaebum’s brain out, but he doesn’t want to miss a second either, doesn’t want to hastily miss a step of the process, so he wills his mind to focus, relaxes his fingers and pushes them back all the way inside.

“Youngjae…” Jaebum whines quietly and his hips churn against him, maybe away, maybe into it, he’s not sure. “Hurts?” Youngjae asks, because he just needs to make sure, wants to give the best possible experience, but Jaebum’s head flies right and left, jittery but determined. “Noooo.” He wails cutely and his nose scrunches along with it. He takes a staggering breath. “So much…” His thin voice states and Youngjae can feel it, somehow, just how much. He presses his lips to a spot on his neck, sucks the skin into his mouth and thrusts his fingers inside him. Jaebum cries out helplessly, his head falls back, the skin of his throat stretching under Youngjae’s prodding lips and his breath staggers.

Youngjae loves it. As much as he wants to get inside him already, he thoroughly enjoys this. Quick, fleeting scenarios cross his mind, glimpses of the future where, if they’re better established, he’s going to finger Jaebum to his orgasm and beyond. If he’s that sensitive already and Youngjae has been all but grazing his prostate, just opening him up, just stretching out his tight little hole and getting to know his insides, feeling for the soft tissue and clenching muscles. So he thrusts his fingers some more, faster, rougher. Jaebum moans, short little sounds, each one cut off by the next before it finished and he’s writhing under him, bottom bucking along the ministrations. Youngjae pushes into him until the knuckles of his hand collide with his rim, putting pressure before releasing, pulling back and doing it again. If anyone ever needed a definition of finger-fucking, well, this is it.

Jaebum is ecstatic. Or overwhelmed maybe. When Youngjae lifts his head to look at him again, he finds him with his eyes hazed and his mouth open as he spills sounds of pleasure. “Youngjae…” He breathes in between hiccupping moans when his gaze finds him and, in a surprising display of determination his fingers curl into his hair and pull him in for a kiss. It doesn’t last, but it’s hot nonetheless until Jaebum breaks away with a groan and his hips buck. “Too much…” He whines weakly, just as Youngjae scissors his fingers in a second attempt, the soft, loosened muscles giving way much more than before and Jaebum’s breath catches in his throat. He chokes and whimpers quietly.

Enough is enough. Jaebum’s taught muscles relax when Youngjae finally retrieves his hand, soaked fingers slipping out of the wet heat and it’s almost pitiful. He huffs a long breath, but the fingers still in Youngjae’s hair tighten, curl around his strands and scrape his scalp. “Shhhh.” Youngjae makes, pressing a few sweet kisses to the corners of his mouth. “Gonna be okay.” He pulls himself up, sits between Jaebum’s open legs onto his heels and Fuck, if this isn’t a picture for the gods, Jaebum’s perfect body, golden skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat. His arms fall back into the sheets, limp, but restless.

Youngjae tries to hurry as he digs around for the lube again and rips open the condom package. He hisses when he pulls it down and layers himself in more of the dripping lube, his cock aching for the friction and he has to fight off the urge to tug on himself too much, but he’s sure he could, easily jerk off to the visual before him and come on Jaebum’s handsome pecks.

He hoists his legs a little higher up his waist, guides his impatient cock to his fluttering entrance and can’t pretend not to notice how Jaebum still tenses, his shoulders hunch and his breath labors. “Hyung.” Youngjae says, voice even more raw than before. “It was okay just now wasn’t it?” It takes some time before Jaebum seems to realize that it was a genuine question and he nods shyly. “Then this will be okay, too.” He soothes. “You can say stop whenever, you know that right?” Jaebum nods again, heaves a shuddering breath and at least slightly relaxes.

Youngjae mildly wonders what he’s gotten himself into and how he’s supposed to survive it, when just pressing his tip against Jaebum’s twitching entrance has him almost come on the spot. It’s slick with lube and loose enough that the head of his cock slips through without any effort at all and the scorching heat that surrounds him immediately has his body shake in arousal. “Oh god…” Jaebum gasps, fingers grasping and pulling at the sheets. Youngjae pushes just a little deeper before he falls forward, hovering over Jaebum’s shivering body, watching in awe how his face twists. Jaebum is so beautiful like that, sensual desire written all over his features, sending a strong impulse of possessiveness through his veins.

The air is thick with sweat and sex, throbbing in his ears and swamping his lungs. He stays in place, eyes locking with Jaebum’s slowly moving just his hips, carefully prodding further inside him, his ape-brain screaming at him to fuck hard and his heart telling him to be as gentle as possible. He’s not sure Jaebum would even notice the difference. While he looks back at him, his eyes are unfocused, dazed, kiss-puffy lips sparkling wet and damp strands of hair clinging to his pretty face. And he moans beautifully while Youngjae sinks inside him, relishing in the tightness of his body. 

Jaebum’s legs scramble for a hold around him when Youngjae halts as far inside as he will allow him for now. His nails scratch along his arms in a feeble attempt to hold onto something, so Youngjae decides to grab his hands in his own. He entangles their fingers and holds them down on the bed, keeping himself eyelevel above Jaebum’s face. His fingers tighten and his lips move mutedly, blinking up at him. Youngjae would like to show him a reassuring smile, but as he feels beads of sweat roll down his face, he notices that he’s having a hard time already just to control his breathing.

Jaebum squirms underneath him. “Do something.” He complains quietly. Youngjae grunts, quite unsexy in response and pulls back to roll his hips forward. The friction is a blessing and so is Jaebum’s small noise. It’s not much, more a tease than anything, but all Youngjae can deliver right now. Jaebum is so damn tight, his entrance so unrelenting, hindering his motions, but then again, he seems to actually like it. The cute sounds of pleasure he emits when Youngjae pushes forward again are music in his ears.

Jaebum’s body stretches out, his bottom rocks back against him. Youngjae feels himself sink deeper and groans viciously. He feels Jaebum’s palms press up against his as he twists and moves. Youngjae stares down into his eyes, tries to find a sign of discomfort, but he doesn’t look anything but out of it. He rolls his hips with more fervor, pulling out quite bit before sliding back in, moaning over the extra friction. Jaebum’s whole body shudders, his muscles tensing chaotically and soft whimpers fall out between his parted lips.

If everything wasn’t so tight and hot and exhausting. If Jaebum wasn’t this edible. Youngjae does his very best to keep his motions controlled and steady, but it’s tough. He rocks forward, shifting his angle bit by bit, monitoring Jaebum’s reactions closely. Suddenly his eyes pop open, growing comically large and his hole clenches almost painfully tight. He emits a high-pitched yelp that flows off into a breathless gasp. Youngjae chokes, his hips stutter. “Hyung.” He breathes out and leans down to pepper kisses along his jaw as he collects himself. “Wha…” Jaebum makes, barely more than a helpless whine. “That’s your prostate.” Youngjae murmurs against his ear, angling his hips. “Again.” He pleads, just so audible enough to send a shiver of want through Youngjae’s body.

Jaebum’s reactions are insane. He’s so sensitive, so responsive, everything Youngjae does triggering an answer tenfold of what the action is worth. He tries to follow suit, requires a couple of thrusts to find the right angle again, the perfect motion. But when he does, Jaebum moans loudly. Youngjae can’t help how it spurs him on. He’s so close to the tipping point, desire and need so prevalent. He buries his face in Jaebum’s neck, whispering. “You sound so beautiful.” He confesses and it tears another panting whine from his throat. 

Youngjae moans and sucks on his neck as he picks up speed. He can’t not. Jaebum takes him so well, his tightness loosening the further he goes, when he clenches in pleasure and let’s go, the slide becomes easier. Youngjae puts more force into his thrusts, the extra pressure finally allowing him to bottom out entirely, indicated by the unmistakable slap of skin against skin as his hips meet Jaebum’s buttocks. Their moans mingle together and Youngjae snaps. He pounds into the welcoming heat faster and rougher than before, letting loose his want and Jaebum just takes it. Not well. Or maybe too well. Youngjae isn’t sure how to interpret his wailing noises and twisting face.

“Okay?” he pants out crooked, to which Jaebum’s eyes screw shut while he nods fidgety. “You feel good.” Youngjae tells him between manic thrusting, words coming out crooked, but kind of thinks some encouraging is in order. “Doing so well.” Jaebum all but mewls and somehow he nods again, eyes fluttering open for a moment, pupils wide and dark with pleasure, before they close again in bliss. Youngjae is so on edge, he’s certain he isn’t gonna last, but he will draw it out as long as he can manage in any ways, because damn, if it isn’t the best fuck he’s ever had.

Jaebum shudders repeatedly around his cock and then his hands push up against him, where he still keeps them pressed into the mattress. Between shaky breaths and ragged moans, Jaebum, looking up at him pleadingly chokes out “T…touch…?” Increasing the push against his arms as if in attempt to free them and do it himself. Youngjae… admittedly feels a little bad as he slows down, rolling his hips languidly, allowing himself to breathe for a moment and come down. Jaebum whines and churns and Youngjae leans down to lick at his lips, keeping his arms firmly secured nonetheless.

“No.” he breathes against his skin, listening to him whimper pitifully. “Look, Hyung.” He rasps out. “You’re so good. So perfect. Such a perfect bottom.” He’s not sure if Jaebum can hear him, or understand him, the way he stares up at him, hazy and cross-eyed. “You can come without help, can’t you?” His mouth opens and closes, he sucks his lips into his mouth and bites down. Then, shakily, he nods. Youngjae allows himself a moment to kiss him, as sweetly as he can, but it turns out messy, before he picks up the same pace as before, mumbling ‘Good boy’ between raspy breaths.

By now, he’s carved out the perfect space for himself inside Jaebum’s lenient body, the slide is easy, slick and giving. It would be easy if he wasn’t so hot, sweating, fingers tightly clenched around Jaebum’s, his muscles aching from the prolonged strain. But he gives it his all. Quick and deep thrusts, not violent but passionate and he does his best to keep it up, keep it steady. Jaebum’s returned to moan in abandon and Youngjae might be joining in, but he only has ears and eyes for the perfect human below him.

Youngjae rocks his hips, driving into the sweet, wet heat until everything blurs together. He feels the oncoming release brooding under the surface and he chases it like he’s starving. He knows he’s loud, knows his motions become erratic, he can’t keep up with himself as it bursts through the restraints. He tips and then he falls, senses drowned out, stomach curling and muscles tightening. It’s mind-blowing and heavy, rippling through his body and shaking him all over. As he comes, he thrusts into Jaebum, long and hard, quick, harsh snaps of his hips, guiding himself through it, riding on the high. And in his daze he feels his bottom rutting back at him, feels his thighs tense and hears his whimpers. Then, when Youngjae’s body is about to give out, his motions about to stop, Jaebum cries out, mouth wide open and eyes screwed shut. His back arches off the mattress, their chests press together and crushing Youngjae’s hands in the fiercest grip, Jaebum spills between them. Youngjae can feels his cock twitch against his stomach when he comes, untouched, all over them.

Jaebum is panting heavily when Youngjae’s last few weak motions finally come to halt and the tight hold Jaebum had around him eases. He sinks completely back into the sheets and Youngjae’s mind slowly clears from the heavy fog of sex and lust and an insane orgasm. He carefully slips out of Jaebum’s wet, loose hole while he’s still dazed out and he means to crawl down and lay beside him, when his shaky, rasping breath catches his attention. “Hyung?” He whispers, finally detangles one of his hands to touch his face, wipe away a sticky strand of hair and cup his jaw.

Jaebum’s eyes flutter open as he heaves a shuddering breath and Youngjae wasn’t mistaken. In terror, he realizes there are tears brimming in his eyes. “A...a… are you okay?” He stutters. Jaebum sniffs and pulls a face. Then he nods, just as a sob tears out his throat. “Hyung?!” Youngjae yelps helplessly. “What is… I’m sorry.” He stumbles over his words, loses his balance as he releases his other hand to hold his face with both of them, almost crashing down on top of him. It takes a moment before Jaebum finally mutters. “’m fine.” And he lifts an arm to wipe his tears away and just like that it’s over.

Youngjae, losing his strength entirely finally falls into the sheets by his side, still clinging to the sides of his head. “Really?” He mumbles, blinking at Jaebum, who nods again, albeit weakly. “Was just… a lot.” He places his palm over Youngjae’s hand. “Much to take.” He elaborates. Youngjae nods too. Then he scoots in for a kiss and even though the position is weird, because Jaebum refuses to move his body, still lying on his back, it tastes right.

It takes a long while before Jaebum is back on track and Youngjae doesn’t mind, because he needs the time, too. He attempts to dispose of the used condom discreetly, but Jaebum takes it off him and throws it… just  _some_ where. “We should clean up.” Youngjae suggests quietly, but Jaebum, finding back to his usual self wraps him in a hug. “Hummhh no.” He makes, burying his face in Youngjae’s hair. “But Hyung, we’re both sticky and the sheets...” Jaebum adds his legs to wrap around him too and holds him down. “No.” He answers, finitely. They manage to dig themselves under the blanket and Youngjae surrenders, falling asleep amid the most disgusting mess and the most comfortable embrace.

 

 

Youngjae returns home before Jinyoung. Not only is Yugyeom’s door still tightly shut, it takes more than two hours before he finally hears them emerge from his room. He decides not to greet Jinyoung, still hasn’t warmed up to the guy. He stays in his room and keeps the door closed while listening to them rumbling about the hallways and witnessing a noisy and disgustingly cheesy ‘Goodbye’-marathon until finally the apartment door falls shut and a beaming Yugyeom creeps into his room, slithering onto his bed and looking up to him expecting. Youngjae peeks at him from the corner of his eye and sighs. “What?” He eventually relents.

“Hyung.” Yugyeom breathes out secretively until Youngjae finally turns and looks at him properly. Yugyeom’s grin is almost blinding. “We did it!” He lets him know and immediately after buries his face in a pillow he’s hugging like a teddy-bear. Youngjae is actually surprised. “No way.” He gasps. “And?” He wants to know. “How was it?!”

Yugyeom giggles and comes back up. “Hot.” He admits and then adds. “Hyung. Jinyoungie.” He breathes heavily. “He’s a total bottom.” Youngjae’s eyes pop and his mouth falls open while he stares at his friend. Now, he didn’t expect that. But then again, he didn’t expect it of Jaebum either. He grabs the corner of his bed as he leans down closely, imitating Yugyeom’s conspiratorial attitude. “Jaebum, too.” He lets him know and watches him gasp and his eyes grow wide.

While they exchange smutty details about their respective sex lives, huddled up in Youngjae’s bed, he realizes that a gossip-free version of this double-date constellation is simply unrealistic.

But he’s certain they’ll find a way to make it work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, this was a whole lot of fun.  
> I actually enjoyed it, but it was hard. Will I ever write Top Youngjae again? No. Seriously. No. Not ever. That's a once-in-a-lifetime occurence.  
> But I've read it in comments or had it suggested, now if anyyone ever asks me for Youngjae topping again, I'll send them here. I still like bottom Jaebum, he's so cute.
> 
> See ya <3


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